Lil Miss Fitness Freak

"And though she be but little, she is fierce"


By The Hour…WIAW

Hey Friends!

Guess What?

I’m actually going to follow the rules this week when linking up with the other What I Ate Wednesday partiers.

Yes, I do that sometimes.

I’m going to show you a full day of eats, from yesterday (Tuesday) as part of a day in the life post.

Hope you enjoy.

WIAW - New

Thanks to Laura (one of my fav blogs!) for being zee host this week for WIAW musical chairs.

5:27am. Ring-a-ling. Alarm goes off.

Lie in bed annoyed that I slept like crap that night and now I have to get up at this time.

5:30am. Suck it up and get up to go quickly reheat breakfast for preworkout.

5:50am. Pancakes in face. Bam. Food Prep for the win.

IMG_7445Vanilla protein pancakes with a few bloobs baked in (all 12g I had left) and topped with melted strawberries (100g) and 1/2 a tablespoon of crunchy peanut butter. Cinnamon sprinkled on and I only needed like a tsp of Walden Farms…prolly didn’t even need any…because the strawberries give you so much volume and sauce. Weooo happier tummy. :-D

6:10am. Done ‘cakes, wash up and reheat the last 1/2 of my tea from last night to enjoy while scrolling facebook and reading emails. Letting the food settle a bit before having to head out.

6:45am. Face + Hair + Teeth to take care of

IMG_7447Yes I need a hair cut. Dem bangs are no longer looking like the fringy “sassy” bangs I like.

7am. Change into gym clothes + Stuff backpack with my lunch (postworkout), laptop, towel, vibrims and water (which has my BCAAs in it).

Backpack now weighs like 20lbs…

7:15am. Bike to the gym in the dark SUNRISE! WEeooo. This makes these early mornings more manageable. Sun also makes it seem less cold, no?

It’s spring now and yet still -7 when I left. Mother Nature you fail.

7:30am: Hit the gym

Chest Workout Mar 249:35am. Chest is dunzo and I fly out of the gym to bike to my 10am class back on campus (my gym is not on campus)

9:54am. Postworkout food heating. Hey gotta fuel up right? I ain’t about that cold food life. Nope.

IMG_745110:01pm. After excessive heating, I power walk from UC to my class.

Weeeee bit late but this is typical. Only by like 3 minutes so it’s okee dokee ;-)

10:30pm. Feeling sleepy so broke down and ate my lunch. Yes it’s 10:30 am. I ate at 6am remember.

IMG_74521.5 servings of Uncle Ben Quick Brown Rice (I call it my risotto rice) + leftover halibut (plus a random shrimp because the halibut was a tad bit shy of my protein wants) + roasted veggies (asparagus, red pepper, mushies and onion) + Mrs. Dash Traditional Salt Free Seasoning.

11:15pm. Class done. Biked home real quick to drop my stuff off just to run back out the door to catch the bus to the grocery store for a mini haul.

11:40pm. At the bus stop. Normally the buses all show up for this time but apparently the one that arrives right in front of our townhouses runs on it’s own schedule. Hmft. Power walk over to UC with the rest of the buses and jump on the express bus to Metro.

12:30pm. Necessities picked up + Timmies in hand and I’m headed back home.

IMG_74541pm. Back at home. Unloaded zee goodies

IMG_7455Sea bass (what? They haven’t had any in two week…necessity? I think so ;-) Laura would understand my needs.), frozen cooked shrimp, nanners, pineapple chunks (yes the obsession is still going strong), radicchio, zucchini (cuz I eat like a dozen of these per week), cinnamon spice tea, roasted chicken breast, floss, toothpaste and coconut oil spray

1:15pm. Shower…finally.

1:30pm. Prep pudding for my night snack while watching the first episode of the season of Teen Mom. Judge away, it’s a guilty pleasure mmmkay.

2:30pm. Feelin munchy. Enter fish oils and Vitamin D…


…And some random chicken cuz I’m weird and eat chicken as a snack.

IMG_74593pm. Answer emails (oh hey Ellie ;-)) + start writing this post.

3:30pm. Tiredness from poor sleep and workout this morning setting in…Thinking a nice nap is in store for me.

Threw 1/2 of a butternut squash into the toaster oven to roast. Prep for dinner.

4pm. Naptime. :-D

Cuz I’m totally that cute when I sleep.

5:30pm. Wow weird dreams. That generally happens when I actually get a GOOD nap (rare).

5:35pm. Come downstairs to check on squash. Not quite done (toaster oven shuts off after 30minutes). Turn it back on, head back upstairs and work on this post more.

6:15pm. Dinner preppage.

IMG_7462In the pot–> Garlic, onion, diced zucchini, mushrooms and sundried tomatoes (nitrite + salt free and organic). Added last was my homemade chicken meat balls + some of the squash (inside that is scooped out to make the hole) + tender greens + pepper + Mrs. Dash Tomato Basil + chili flakes

6:25pm. Sauteed up my stuffing mixture. Stuffed that into my squash half (didn’t all fit) and shoved that back into the toaster oven at about 300 to warm through and let the juices soak into the squash while I have my appetizer…yeah I’m fancy.

IMG_74646:50pm. Sit down with my salad (I generally always have a salad before every meal) with a side of The Real Housewives of Atlanta…I’m on a role for these shameful shows ain’t I?

7:10pm. Entree time.

IMG_7469She’s a beauty + Tasty too boot. :-D I garnished with some avocado and sprouts.

7:40pm. Wash up, prep zoats for pre-workout breakfast and postworkout lunch (yup that zoats twice in one day Weeeoo love my oats).

8:00pm. Stare at Emily’s dying pear on the counter and decide to put it out of its misery..

IMG_7479…in the best way possible.

This was the puddin’ before it was tossed in the oven to bake. Honey roasted pear bread pudding OR baked french toast that I infused with a vanilla rooibos tea and topped with pecans.

8:30pm. Get my tushy upstairs to do some work. It’s about time eh? I have been quite school lazy today.

IMG_74809pm. Continue to work away. Submitted my Food’s lab, did the pre-lab quiz for the lab tomorrow (technically today) and did this study for extra credit in my Couple and Family Relationships course.

9:15pm. Realize my bread puddin is still in the oven. OH EM GEE. Run downstairs to take it out to realize that it’s still a little bit underdone due to the excess liquid from the tea. Phew. Back in the oven and I go back upstairs.

9:45pm. Come back downstairs to take out the bread pudding. Ain’t she beautiful..

IMG_7484I swear that is a different picture from the first! Raw vs. baked looks exactly the same apparently. #BrownFoodClub

9:50pm. Emily arrives home, we chatter a lil bit about her boxing class while I reheat my tea I made earlier but left to steep.

10pm. Quickly finish up some prep notes for tomorrows lab while I sip on my tea (It’s my favourite Truffle Mint tea by Four O’Clock). So good.

IMG_748510:25pm. Catch up on facebook a bit, add a lil bit more to this post.

10:50pm. Gather together my nightly snackage which includes my normal peanut butter casein pudding (frozen) + 1/2 a questbar. Tonight PB and J was on the menu, baked of course.

Sorry that went unpictured but I’m sure you remember what it looks like

Went to sleep waaayyyy too late so I was thankful for that nap earlier in the day.

Bam. Full day for you all!

I hope you enjoyed.

Before I leave though, feast your eyes on this…

IMG_7433I did it guys! I went to get my ice cream last Saturday night and I really enjoyed it.

IMG_7432Make that, Rita and I really enjoyed our Baskin Robbins. 2 adult scoops for lil ol’ me thanks. The top one (omg so good) was a Caramel Turtle Truffle flavour (caramel swirl + truffles + vanilla ice cream) and the bottom was the one I knew I was gunna get which was the Chocolate Peanut Butter. I’m not a fan of chocolate (its tolerable) but it’s that frozen peanut butter ripple that makes my heart melt. I will say though, that I think the turtle one trumped it, and I was kinda sad I had it on the top because I then dug to the bottom to eat all the chocolate ice cream first (leaving peanut butter chunks) and then was left with the amazing ice cream with frozen peanut butter. So good.

Do you save the best for last too? Also,

You know what?

IMG_7438I didn’t blow up like a house the next day either. This shot was also taken after my big bowl of preworkout zoats and a whole mug of tea. Lil flat, but those lil guys are still there. Sorry for the messed up hair and…well self…tis the morning. Don’t judge.

Being Real With Ya: I will say that I felt fuller then I normally feel after dinner following the ice cream. This lead to some triggering points for me so I just went to bed because I didn’t want to deal with the negativity that my brain was trying to force upon me. One thing that probably didn’t help was the fact that the turtle truffle one was actually a low fat, sugar free variety (that’s not why I chose it!) so it had a ton of artificial sweeteners in it that my tummy hates. That probably accounted for a good amount of gas that made me feel more full then I really had to.

All in all, I may have been a bit puffy the next day, but it’s a step in the right direction psychologically for me and I even told my Dad that maybe if I’m brave enough to do it soon again, Easter will be another ice cream weekend.

Favourite brand of ice cream? Shop?

If you were to design your own ice cream flavour, what would it be? Something mostly made of peanut butter for me. With peanut butter cookie dough chunks…I’m drooling.



Dem Feelz….Thinking Out Loud

Hey friends

…yeah it’s been a while. My thoughts have been bottled up in business but I just wrote a midterm and so I have some dumpage to do. Ya feelz?


Thanks to the lovely Miss Spoons for giving me a platform to clear za brain

1. Them Guilty Feelz

I want to say sorry like 100 times over to you guys that I have been slacking in the postage department. I dunno what has come over me lately but I’m drawing a major blogging blank and I don’t like it. You guys don’t make me feel like I owe it to you to to post, but I want to share information with you. I think I’m also getting a lil burnt out. Ever get that feeling at the end of the year when things are starting to pile up right before exams and you just don’t care anymore? Yeah, #StudentFeelz

Help me out with this blockage by lending some ideas over my way on what you want to see.

I think another thing making me feel guilty is that I haven’t seen many comments on my last few posts. This isn’t to say that I need validation or anything, but I really feed off of you guys and it makes me begin to question whether the material I’m posting is boring you. Please, if it is, or there is something you really want me to post about, lemme know! The last thing I want to do is be that blogger

2. Midterm Feelz

So I literally just wrote a midterm and now I’m sitting in night class. Don’t they know I need time to mind-dump after writing before I can be respondent again? Apparently not.

Midterm–> 5:30-7pm

[Insert running to the University Centre to heat up food]

Night Class–> 7pm- ….

It’s my birdcourse so I’m leaving at 9 regardless. Sshhhh I’m a good student I promise.

3. Gym Feelz

This article is amazing. Cardio Bunnies READ NOW! Click on the picture for the link to the article

The Modern Woman's Guide To Strength Training

I think this is really well written! So many good points she made, here are some of what she said that I really believe in as well and think you should know:

  • When it comes to cardio, intensity trumps. 60 minutes on the treadmill…no thanks and really not needed.
  • If you find yourself having to clock more and more minutes to simply maintain your weight, you’re in a cardio cycle and can potentially be damaging your metabolism long term (not to mention be miserable!). The body is smarter then you are. It adapts to constant cardio and how does it do this? It slows your metabolism down so if you want to loose weight, you will then have to add even more cardio until you just plateau. It’s a bad cycle my friends!
  • Nutrition will always trump cardio when it comes to fat loss. Nuff said.
  • Weight training trumps cardio for fat loss. Intense weight training increases testosterone, growth hormone and lactate, all of which impact muscle synthesis and fat burning. Doing cardio alone to burn cals can impact weight loss, but it takes some muscle along with it. Think sprinter vs endurance runner. Muscle vs waif.

Disclaimer. PLEASE NOTE that the last statement I made was not meant to make jabs at people who run long distances, it was to make a point.

4. Ice Cream Feelz

Guys I’m going for Baskin Robbins on Saturday. I have been craving it for months and have decided to set a date and a time to make sure I don’t keep saying no. I now feel the ability to be open about things such as fear foods and unfortunately as much as I love the cold’n creamy stuff, I feel immense guilt about even thinking about letting myself have any. This is beside the fact that sometimes my lactaids fail me and my body then hates me for the next few days.

I’m gunna do it. I have my housemates coming to enjoy too and offer support. And damn it I’m going to enjoy it.

No anxiety all day up until that moment please and thanks ED.

5. Food Feelz

I forgot how much I really like burgers

Homemade Ostrich Burger with all the toppings :-D

Homemade Ostrich Burger with all the toppings :-D

Tuesday nights dinner, although it didn’t contain fish (gasp), was pretty geewwwwd. Made me remember Chucks Burger Bar.

6. Awkward Feelz

Anyone else feel all kinds of uncomfortable when talking about and viewing elderly people having sex? Well I’m sitting her learning about how wild an elderly persons sex life really is…and it came with videos. #LectureFeelz!

7. Longevity Feelz?

Apparently this test is one that is used to assess your longevity.

longevity testCan you stand up without touching your knees or legs or anything? Armless standing from a lying position?

Deduct a point every time you have to touch your knee, floor or whatever as you try to go from sitting to standing. The lower your score, the longer you will live apparently.

I’m gunna live forever!

One that note, I’m gunna jet home, so talk at you lata times my friends!

Favourite ice cream flavour? Anything with peanut butter and I’m feeling caramel lately… Two scoop club oh hey!




Hey guys!

Tis the day to share all zee foods and today I have 2 weeks worth of photoes to dump on ya so I hope you can drool over at least one of my whole food noms. I will say that I have a few “out of the standards” type dinners going on in this reel so I hope you can appreciate that I’m reaching an arm out of my box of fish + squash + salad that I live in daily. ;-)

Also I’m being a big fat copy cat of Giselle’s #HashTagStyle post because I thought it was a fun idea to make me…

  1. Refrain my excessive talking
  2. Makes me get creative with descriptors
  3. Refrains my chatterface…yeah that’s the big one because you all know I can get out of hand.

So I’m going to shut my mouth now and give ya the goods with them good ol’ #HashTags. I hope you enjoy!

What I Ate Wednesday Button

#ThanksJen #HostessOfTheMostess #OhWait #ArmansTurn #HostOfTheMost

Uh oh, Looks like I brokey the rules. Serves me for writing this post before double checking. To be a proper partier you MUST do a full day of eats, so my string of “What I Ate Recently” doesn’t cut it. I will link up, but if I get cut I completely understand and will not be upset.

I will be better next week and be an A++ student PROMISE! I just really wanted to share my nomz with you all.

IMG_7383#5:30AMProteinPancakes #PreWorkout #Strawberries #PeanutButter #CrunchyDuh #NeedToStillWorkOnSauce #ChallengeToNotUseAnyWaldenFarms

IMG_7362#BakedPestoHalibut #OhYouFancyHuh #DressedUp #GreenFattyGoodness

IMG_7346#TuperwareLife #ThursdayNightClass #SpaghettiSquashCravingSquashed #HomemadeChunkySauce #HomemadeChickenMeatballs #AllTheNooch #TooManyVeggies #Bloated #ILoveFennel

IMG_7360#CheatMeal #GirlsTookMeOutForThai #SeafoodGains #SodiumMakesMeVeiny #Cashews #SoManyVeggies #IAteEmilysVeggiesToo #VeggieHore

IMG_7322#NeededBeef #BisonIsBetterThenBeef #Sirloin #BakedSweetPotatoFries #PepperyVeggies #Inhaled #LegDayProblems

IMG_7314#NightClassAgain #NotAUsualRestDay #MoreCarbs #DemPurpleSweetTatersDoe #HomemadeChickenBurgers #Squash #RoastedVeggies

IMG_7375#PostWorkout #EatenAt10:30 #GotStaredAtInLecture #DontCareBreakfastWasAt 5:30 #NeedFuel #FoodsOnRepeat #FinalPurpleSweetTater #SoSad #BurgersAreSoConvienent

IMG_7318#WholeFoods! #SoGood #CajunNight #DemCajunShrimp #DateWithHouseMates #TheyWereWholeFoodVirgins #IConvertedThem #MayAllTheirWalletsHateMe #TakeMeBack #Please.

IMG_7385#Fish #In #A #Foil

IMG_7387#OMG #GuysYouNeedToHaveThisInYourLife

IMG_7391#PostFoil #SoMoist #HateThatWord #Veggies #FattyDeliciousTrout #Pesto #SpicyGarlicRosemaryMashedAcornSquash #EatThatSkin! #SoGood #IActuallyMadeThisPlatePretty #BeProud #WatchedMasterChef #FeltLikeAMasterChef #InMyDreams


Before I leave you, quicky question

 Do You like these WIAW posts?

Is there anything I should change about them? Other then actually following the rules…



Tuesday Also Starts With “T”

In the blog world, that mean I can have thoughts on Tuesday’s too. :-P

What’s crack-a-lackin friends??

I’m so sorry I have been absent ever since droppin ‘the bomb‘ so to speak on ya about a week ago. I wasn’t avoiding you after that I swear, I just got busy with other life stuff and I kinda went through a brief period of not having much inspiration to write. Who knows, maybe that vlog took it all out of me and I needed a week to re-coop. Hehe, just kidding. I like being an open book and that post was super empowering for me to do!

That post leads me to my first thought of the day..

1. I love you guys

Thank you so much for all of your support on that vlog and post. It meant so much to me as I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but it was something I felt I needed to do for myself. There is no reason to hide behind your past. Embrace it and use it to help others. I also want to thank you all for sharing your stories. I so appreciate how open and honest you were with me and the fact that you are willing to share a piece of yourselves with me. I’m glad I am perceived as being trustworthy enough for you to feel comfortable with me and this space.

2. It doesn’t take a lot to make someone smile

I really doesn’t. Happiness and being in a good mood is easily transferable to others. Take my bus driver today. Yes, my bus driver. He was actually the happiest bus driver I have ever seen. Despite sounding like he was a boat or cruise operator

…..aaaaaaannnnnddd ladies and gents we have made it to our destination. Thank you for boarding the 2A bus….

No joke that is what he said in that voice as we arrived onto campus. Amazing right?

His energy really made me smile and I’m sure it was touching to the rest of the boarders as well.

3. My need for the tropics has manifested in a new food obsession craving..

IMG_7356Eat alllllll the pineapple!

Guys, it’s a problem. Do you know how much pineapple costs here in Canada? I have managed to contain myself and keep it to either my pre or post workout protein oats only, but guys, if you haven’t had warmed pineapple in your oatmeal, do it. So good. Oh and while you’re at it, drizzle wizzle the top with a nice chocolate protein icing (good chocolate whey+ almond milk= icing).


4. Never forget those who did you a favour.

I went to get my usual Timmies (tea for all you non-Canadians) before my 4pm class today and I got a big ol’ smile from the wonderful lady working there on the daily. She now knows me. Why?

She did me a favour. A big favor. One afternoon I went in to get my tea and thought a nickel was a toonie (epic fail) and I guess she saw my disappointment and totally bought my tea for me! I’m going to say it again..Amazing no? She totally made my day. I knew I couldn’t let that go, so the next time I went to get my tea, I “bought 2″ but took only one. The other one, in the form of change, went right into her pocket and I hope she bought herself a hot cup of joe for all the hard work that she does.

5. I’m on a baking kick again…

I don’t really know why these happen to me, but I just feel the need to bake all the things despite not really having the time to accomplish this. Over the weekend, my housemates have received quite a few random goodies

IMG_7370Baked french toast…or bread pudding…whatever you want to call it for Emily this morning.

IMG_7368Really super easy to make.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Whisk an egg in a bowl. Add a good 1/2 cup of milk of choice, and chia seeds (or flax meal) and whisk that together. Then add your flavourings. For this one, I added 1 tsp of vanilla extract, about a tablespoon of peanut flour and mashed 1/3 of a ripe banana into the liquid. Then rip up 2 pieces of bread (I used sprouted grain) and fold that into the mixture. You want it to be a bit soupy at this point, as the bread soak it all in, so it you’re low on liquid, add more milk or egg whites. Toss in your additional add-ins and fold gently into the mixture. I added diced banana and carob chips. Finally, spray a bowl (or be lazy like me and use tin foil that has been sprayed so you don’t have to wash a dish afterwards ;-)) and pour your mixture into the bowl. Place any last toppings on there (I added some of Emily’s chocolate peanut butter from whole foods) and toss in the oven for about 30 minutes or until the ‘pudding’ is puffed up, firm and slightly golden on the top.

I made coconut pineapple rice pudding for Rita a few days ago. I blame her for my pineapple obsession.

I also made these for the whole house when I had a big container of leftover pumpkin that needed using up…

Flourless Pumpkin Pie Muffins -- you won't miss the flour, oil, or sugar in these soft and tender muffins! || #glutenfree #pumpkin #muffins

Thank you Miss Spoons! Sadly for me, my housemates said these were the best thing I have ever made them and I can’t even say it was my creation. Oh well, they were devoured in 3 days. Oh and that was double batch.

So yeah. Go make them.

6. I have been practicing being more mindful of my surroudings.

This is uber random and isn’t necessarily a super new thing as I have been doing it for about a month now. I felt the need one morning to not walk to class with my headphones in just because. What I realized was how much having one single earbud in my ear makes me tune out the world around me and really make me mindless. I am in no way saying that you shouldn’t enjoy your music, but I think it’s important to really take in your environment sometimes and not be just another student zombie walking to class with headphones in. Even in the gym (gasp!) I have done this and have found sometimes that it helps to get into my zone, but this depends on my mood more.

Its weird what you can come to appreciate. For example, oh the smile it brought to my face when I heard robin’s singing the other morning. SPRING IS A COMIN!

7. I hope she is at peace.

My friend posted a picture today of a friend who passed away from her eating disorder. Although I didn’t know her personally, I want to say that I hope this poor girl is at peace now. I hope that those demons can now shut up and let her be. These demons are very real. They take lives. Never forget the immense impact mental illness has.

Let your beautiful and freed soul dance and embrace what it feels like to be released from the cage that cooped you up for too long. <3

Have a great Tuesday friends.

Ponder for a moment

Current obsession?



The Only Voice That Should Never Speak

Screen shot 2015-02-27 at 9.40.10 AMClick on the thumbnail for the link to the video.

This is an amazing video to really sum up the points of this post friends. There have been many posts floating around the foodie blogger world lately all related to NEDA week

And I’m not trying to just jump on the bandwagon here. I truly think that being aware of this growing issue is very important. Eating disorders are so often misunderstood and judged as simply a choice or a cry for attention but the real issues are much, much deeper then that.

I have a very hard time looking past peoples judgements of this awful disorder due to lack of understanding, but perhaps that is because I know so much about the psychology behind these disorders and mental illness in general. I will say that I hope you choose to educate yourself rather then make hurtful judgments and comments because an eating disorder is not as simple as someone refusing to eat. Here’s a lil list of factoids for ya to show you just how serious and HARD this illness really is.

Did you know?

  • As far as total deaths related to mental illness, eating disorders are the number one killer of adolescent girls. It is estimated that 10% of individuals with [anorexia] will die within 10 years of the onset of the disorder (NEDIC, 2014).
  • There are line-ups of emaciated and dying boys and girls to get treatment. We just don’t have enough services to help all of the individuals plagued by this disorder.
  • Its not always all about food. Most often it has to do with control. Many individuals use food as their way to control something when they perceive the rest of their lives to be out of their control. Family issues is a common contributing factor to eating disorder tendencies.
  • It’s not a female issue. More and more males are being affected as well.
  • Those haunted by this disorder are truly haunted. There is a point where rational thought has left the individual and they are simply unable to truly see themselves as sick and unable to fight back the voice (compulsions) that is making them present the disordered behaviours

For more stats and tidbits, visit NEDIC here.

To follow-up that last point, I just want to add that THAT is why you cannot and should not judge an individual inflicted with an eating disorder (or any mental illness). It is not their choice. They have not chosen to harm their bodies in the manner that they do. They are simply not strong enough emotionally to fight back against the obsessive compulsive nature of the disorder.

They are literally in a battle with their own head. Do you know how hard it would be to try to turn your thoughts off? How exhausting that would be? Think about that for a second.

I have a lot of experience with eating disorders….

  • I have done research on children’s eating disorders during my first undergrad degree at McMaster University.
  • My thesis was on Binge Eating Disorder (BED).
  • I have many friends who have and, unfortunately, continue to, suffered with the grips of this disorder.
  • And well, I have a secret that I’m finally ready to share with you guys..

I apologize that they are so long (both part 1 and part 2) but that’s because they were difficult for me to record and because they are never scripted. I just let my thoughts flow. Click on the thumbnails for access to the videos. I hope you stick around for the full run through, but I can understand if 20 minutes is too long for you.

NEDA symbol part 1

And part 2, once again, clicky on the thumbnail. NEDA symbol part 2I have held this back for so long not because I’m ashamed of what I went through, because I’m not, but rather, because I have been afraid of what my friends (who I didn’t know through the ordeal) would think of me once they knew. I was afraid that they would think of me differently. Perhaps, they would speak to me differently or feel the need to not say certain things around me if it at all relates to eating disorders or body image related things.

I guess I was afraid to be seen as a victim of sorts because I’m not.

Yes I went through hell and back. Yes, I hit rock bottom in my life, but you know what?

That was ONE part of my life and for it, I’m a much stronger person. As I mentioned in my video, I have grown so much from that experience because I learned more about myself and my abilities during that struggle then I have throughout my whole life.

I am me because of that event. I am me because I made it through. I fought and I fought damn hard. I pulled through. I lived.

Yes, I continue to fight that voice every day because it never fully shuts up no matter how ‘recovered’ one is. He still likes to creep in when I’m vulnerable (like during exam stress) and make me feel small and weak again. When that happens it’s my job now to know that my body gave me a second chance to live and I’m not letting anything take that away from me.  I have worked too hard for that.

I also have help. I have my friends and my family there even when they don’t know it to help get me through those tougher times when I’m feeling overwhelmed. For that, I can never give enough thanks.

I also have you guys. This lil blog spot where I can say what I’m feeling is such a release for me and it only makes me even more happy that I can relate to you and help any of you beautiful people in any way. You too are my support system and for that as well, I thank you.

I can only hope that now that you understand my quirks and know that I am here to provide a listening ear to anyone who is struggling and needs help. No one is ever alone! I also hope you all know how much you mean to me. After all, I just spilled the biggest and hardest secret of my life to the world to you all and I hope that I haven’t scared you away. I’m human just like all of you and have my own struggles and my own demons to deal with. The main point is that I’m trying, forever growing and striving to reach a point where I can finally say….

I hope that this post has resonated with you all and please please please promise me that before you start to form a judgement about anyone with a mental illness, stop and think about why you are doing that. In most cases, you will come to realize that you are judging simply because you don’t understand and we don’t like to feel like we don’t know something.

Much love and thank you again for always being an amazing audience to share my thoughts and feelings with.


Here is an interesting article to read up if you’re interested. Also, never be shy to chatter back at me in the comments.

Pause. Hover over submit. Take a deep breath. Publish. Done.



7AM Workouts Calls For Cakes…

Patty Cakes Patty Cakes….

IMG_7309No oatmeal for breaky!?!? Say WHAT?

I swear I’m healing.

Trust me, I would be perfectly happy with having my oats every morning without fail. Yes, the idea of pancakes appeals to me. Yes Instagram makes me crave them often. Yes they are tasty, but to be honest, they disappear too fast so I often feel slightly underwhelmed or like I ate nothing.

Apparently if something doesn’t take me 20 minutes to eat, I haven’t eaten. #IHazIssues

I believe that is the reason why I tend to feel as if they don’t fuel me as well during my workouts as my zoats.

Sometime though, as much as you try to pre-prep your oatmeal, when you are short on time and are particular about how your oatmeal is prepared and eaten, you run out of time.

Enter zee cakes.

Make the night before and just reheat in the morning. Easy Peasy.


I just make tasty pancakes I say. Well, I make healthy protein pancakes that are tasty.

I cannot vouch for normal pancakes because I have never made a normal pancake.

Weird eh?

Anywho, I made these last night to have when my alarm went off at 5:30am this morning and they were quite good even though my syrup ran dry and only gave up a measly teaspoon.

Oh well, maybe that was its way of saying your tummy is not ready for #ChemicalFarms yet. Ooopps.

So I’m rambling. What else is new? I will stop and say, if you want some tasty protein pancakes go make these and enjoy having your cakes and eating them too.

Banana Studded Protein Pancakes

Serves 1

Dry Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup gluten free oats
  • 1/2 scoop protein powder (I used Diesel whey in chocolate peanut butter)
  • 1 tbsp coconut flour
  • 1 tsp  chia seeds

Wet Ingredients:

  • 1 egg white (2 tbsp liquid egg whites)
  • 1/4 cup of unsweetened almond milk plus more if needed to make a thick (spreadable batter, not pourable)
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  • Pinch of pink salt and cinnamon


  • 50g banana (or more, whatever you like)
  • Whatever else you desire.

Directions: Grind the oats into a flour. Add all of the rest of the dry and mix. Add your wet (except the almond milk). Add the almond milk and then enough to get a thick batter. Let that sit for at least 20 minutes to let the coconut flour and chai soak up some of the liquids. When you are ready to cook them, add more milk/water to your batter to once again make a thick batter. Preheat a pan with spray or some oil on medium-low to medium heat (cook low and slow!) and spoon out some batter onto the pan and shape it into a circle. Slice some of your banana and place on the pancake. Flip once the bottom is firm and starting to lift off the pan (these won’t bubble). Let the other side cook and then do the rest of the batter the same way.

Top your patty cakes with what ever you like. I did raw cashew butter, the left over Walden Farms sugar-free syrup and a sprinkle of cinnamon.

IMG_7302If you happen to care, the macros for my stack were…

Calories: 364

Fat: 10g

Carbohydrates: 46g

Protein: 26g

Fiber: 9g

Sugar: 8g (all from the banana and coconut flour)

Lots of good carbohydrates and protein give me energy, plus fibre and healthy fats to keep that fuel pumpin for my 2 hour chest workout.


Favourite pancake toppings?

Do you have troubles eating small things?



Body Vs. Patience

Guys I’m getting impatient.

I want to eat my favourite foods again.

Does my body care about this?


You body will work on its own clock.

It doesn’t care that you want to get back to eating your old foods once again the day after illness.

It doesn’t care that you want to get back to the gym after one day of recuperation.

It believes it’s still in healing mode.

I need to live with the fact that I had food poisoning less then one week ago, had my whole system cleared out, was unable to eat for more then 24 hours and was knocked off my game.

I need to accept that my body went through a trauma.

I also need to accept that healing doesn’t happen in 24 hours even if I think it should.

But guys…

I’m needy.

I’m impatient.

I want my food back!


I also want my strength back dammit!


Linking up with the gang over at Peas And Crayons for this weeks What I Ate [during illness recovery] Wednesday. Thanks Jen for hosting!

Scratch that. No link up this week peeps due to some unfortunate links that just go with our WIAW flow, but a continued thanks to the hard working Jen for tweaking the moderating and being able to keep the party alive. To the bloggers who use this linkup for advertising or just for attention and views, shame on you.

What I Ate Wednesday Button

When coming off the stomach flu or food poisoning, one is supposed to stick to the BRAT diet

B: Bananas

R: Rice

A: Apple Sauce

T: Toast

IMG_7273…That lasted a whole one meal (the very first meal I ate in 24+ hours)

I’m a rule breaker mmmkay?

That also stands for I’m a **it starter with the very thing that wounded me in the first place. Smart? Probably not.

You need to eat bread they say…

I’m gluten free.

You need to eat plain white rice they say…

That’s boring, what about brown? (answer= no)

They say no fiber. No fat. No vegetables.

Well geesh what am I supposed to eat!?!?

So, for this post, let’s go through all of my mistakes and why they were not good so that you can hopefully avoid them if you go through the same thing.

Fail #1: Too Much Liquids.

So for my second meal the day after sicky day, I had a soup I made that was full of vegetables (easy to digest ones!), healing herbs and plain chicken. See plain chicken I was a good girl. Or so I thought.

IMG_7282Stomach didn’t like it. Bad girl.

I know in my heart that I don’t do well with liquids. I can’t drink shakes because I get nauseous when I drink too much too fast, so I have never taken to them. After basically only having a can of club soda the day I was sick, I was feeling a lil dehydrated the next day to say the least, so soup sounded like a splendid idea.

Unfortunately, this ONE BOWL OF SOUP led to my tummy being a lil pissed off with me and I then was uncomfortable and stuffed for the next 5-6 hours leading to me breaking another rule of the ‘healing after sickness’..

Fail #2: Eat small meals every 2-3 hours they say..

Because your stomach is sensitive during these first few days and you can only manage small meals, it’s important to eat more frequently to ensure that your body is getting at least a decent amount of calories. You are trying to heal after all and that requires fuel.

That night though, once my tummy calmed down, I did have a smaller dinner that consisted of beautiful massive scallops (I just couldn’t let those go bad!) and some roasted squash. My tummy tolerate this despite the squash having skin on it! Yeah, see I’m a rebel, you are supposed to take off any skin. Screw that, the skins the best part. ;-)

After a few hours, I had 1/2 a Questbar as I normally do (no pudding though…crying) and despite being nervous about it (all that fiber and whey is a big no no), it actually made me a bit peckish, so I ate another scallop…at midnight…what?

Small win for me.

Day one of eats (or lack there of…) complete and I slept with my tummy settled.

Fail #4: Too Much Fat Too Fast.

One thing they say to do is to keep your meals low fat for a few days (take another peekie at the BRAT diet and notice that it’s all about them carbs) because fat is harder on the digestive system. Well, I decided Sunday Morning (Day 2 post sick day) that I wanted my zoats again, so I made them as I normally would, which includes 1/2 a tbsp of peanut butter, some crushed nuts, chia seeds and peanut flour. Stupid me.

Once again, my tummy rebelled against me and I couldn’t eat for like 6 hours. :-( Was it the fats? Was is the zucchini? The chia? I dunno, but they do say zucchini is easy to digest and that fats are a problem too early on.

As far as the rest of my meals went, I was a good girl in terms of the fat content and stuck to zero fat fish or chicken for my protein sources (gawd I miss my fatty fish!) and only introduced avocado after a full day back at eating. Avocado was first because it’s supposed to be the easiest fat to take in (I googled it so it’s legit ;-)).

IMG_7286Zucchini, mushrooms and onion with garlic powder only (nothing spicy allowed..sadface), too small of a piece of squash and chicken breast with avocado.

One that I’m still struggling with…

Fail #4: Too Many Veggies Too Fast.

IMG_7287Baked haddock with avocado (with one random shrimpie), roasted squash and kale done in curry with garlic, onion and mushrooms.

On day 2, yeah see I’m impatient, I knew that I wanted to push a lil bit for more food because I was going back to the gym the next morning and wanted to feel like I gotten better with the whole calories thing. Well that backfired on me as the kale, despite being cooked, did not sit well at all..or maybe it was too much squash…and I blew up like a hot air balloon. Sorry if that is too much information, I’m just being real with you.

I just love my veggies, I’m sorry tummy. Stop hating on me!

So, I failed quite a few times and paid for it with some pain, bloating, gas (sorry TMI) pains and feeling overstuffed, but I did have some positives to this whole process…

IMG_7288Roasted acorn squash and purple sweet potato. Baked Basa with avocado + 2 Shrimp. More Zucchini, onion and mushrooms sauteed in Mrs. Dash Steak Seasoning <- makes it taste like The Keg’s veggies no joke.Tried purple sweet taters again because I needed a higher density carb source that is less volume. Thank you Whole Foods for bringing back my favourite kind of sweet tater. It looks so small on that big plate. This is why I love squash…you get so much of it for the same carbohydrates as that teensie piece of tater. Plus, squash is just soo goood.

IMG_7293Got to make use of my amazing find…

Yes. Dairy free, sugar free, cashew and almond yogurt! Tastes just like plain yogurt, just a lil gritter because its made from nuts. I still missed my pudding, but my attempt at pro-froyo helped to tide me over for my nightly snack aside my 1/2 a Questbar.

I found this at the lil grocery store inside The RichTree in the Eaton Centre for anyone near Toronto.

So after all of that, how am I doing now?

I’m still slowly incorporating foods back in. Tonight, I had salad for the first time for dinner and a medium fat fish (mahi mahi) PLUS I get to have my pudding tonight WEEOOOO so I hope it all sits well.

I adjusted my zoats to have a lil less zucchini and only working with half of the chia seeds that I normally have.

Tomorrow will be the first time I’m having veggies at both lunch and dinner (being back in the gym, I have been having zoats postworkout too), so hopefully that is okay.

Still haven’t brought my fish oils back in yet and I haven’t been able to hit my normal calories again yet, but they are getting higher and hopefully that helps me in the gym as I definitely have a case of the “I’m WEAK!” going on.

Still feeling some gas issues by the end of every day and into the morning, but hopefully that goes away soon. Bring on the fatty fish soon enough!

Sorry had to throw that in there as I’m complaining about not being able to eat..

HOW?!? Me no compute.

Sorry I just obsess over like food.

So yeah, I have learned that I can’t push my body to move too fast or it just pushes back…with vengeance. No bueno.

Happy Hump Day Peeps

Do you follow the BRAT diet when you’re sick?

Do you push your body when you should let it rest and heal?



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