Lil Miss Fitness Freak

"And though she be but little, she is fierce"

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It’s Coming…Currently

School is starting in a few weeks.

school starts

It’s really not that bad, you see I know that we all go through the period of being so happy that school is over due to exam stress but two weeks in we are officially bored.

school startmeme-b2s-collegecyclefaces

Then once school starts, you are all excited to see all your friends again and then one week in you’re waiting for Christmas Break again.


In light of this, I thought it would be a good time to give an update on life in one of these currently posts. So, I hope you enjoy and please, comment below and let me know what’s going on with you! I miss chattering more with you guys as my comment section has been quite silent over the summmaa months. I totally get that it’s summer and you all are crazy busy with jobs and just trying to still have a life, but I miss you my friends. ‚̧

Anyways, onto the update.


Totally snagged this from Amanda cuz it’s cute. Hope you don’t mind ūüėȬ†

Current book Youtube watch:¬†Cuz you all know I don’t read…I have recently been following Mr. Nick Tong Strong more closely for his knowledge and expertise in bodybuilding and nutrition. He’s the prep coach of two ladies I follow on YouTube, Emily Duncan and Taylor Chamberlain, and I have just been spending some time getting caught up on his talks. Interesting stuff.

Current music:¬†A few goodies off of the new album for Suicide Squad. Haven’t seen the movie itself, but I really liked some of the music!

suicide squad

~Purple Lamborghini -Skrillex and Rick Ross

~Sucker For Pain-  Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons w/ Logic & Ty Dolla $ign ft X Ambassadors

~Heathens – Twenty One Pilots

Love these 3 for the gym.

Current [non]-guilty pleasure:¬†Foam Rolling! I have been rolling every morning without fail and I found out the hard way that my legs and hips are not the only things that need some more roller love…

Despite being painful sometimes, it’s actually relaxing and its something I’m trying to do for my body to perform at it’s best. I’m falling more and more into “what would an athlete do for their kingdom” type of mindset and if you break your body down day after day, it needs some self care too for it to keep doing what it does for you.

Current drink:¬†Can I say ACV shots? These have really been helping my tummy lately (although it’s still being stupid regardless). Shoot those things back before you eat and it helps to digest your food!


So many benefits! I got my Mom doing it every morning (the she started a night shot on her own!) despite her hating it. The face she makes is awesome ūüėÄ

Just make sure you get a natural one with the mother. Take a tablespoon or so and water it down and take your shot!

Current food:¬†Creature of habit, I don’t tend to change that much as I love every thing¬†¬†that I eat, but kabocha, now that I found a nice dry one, is a serious love recently.

…not that it really left, I mean all other foodies know the feels when it comes to this golden treasure..

kabocha love

Current obsession:¬†90210. Yeah summer is a snooze feast for shows so I started re-watching 90210 and …I’m hooked again.

Current craving:¬†I think it’s the heat but I have seriously been craving a slushy for some strange reason. I tend to put my BCAA’s in my bottle and then right in the freezer for like 2 hours to sip on during my¬†gym sessions. When you take it out and shake it, it’s like a Blue Raspberry slushy and I just find myself wanting more after I finish that one. Haven’t caved yet to get the real sugary thing (my stomach would probably hate me for it) but I need to give in at least once during the last few weeks to ice cream or something. Brave face on and accept the crappy feeling for a few days. It’s been far too long.

protein ice cream

Check out Elle’s Recipe HERE

Something similar catching my eye constantly (and always fuelling an inner struggle) is those smoothie bowls/protein ice cream bowls on IG. I want one so bad but I’m afraid because of a few reasons. My body hates digesting large amounts of liquids at one time. You will never see me eating soup, slurping down a smoothie or having a protein shake for that reason. Too much liquid makes me nauseous. Secondly, the thickeners (xanthum gum) that really give it the right texture will probably leave me on the floor.

Can I please incinerate my IBS ridden stomach and get a new one? -_-

Current need:¬†I don’t¬†need¬†it but I kinda did. This is the Back At It Again Tank.

On zee card…Opps. I blame the “What’s New” Lululemon emails they taunt me with..

Current indulgence:¬†Being done work ūüėČ not that my work was breaking my back or anything..


Current bane of my existence:¬†The humidity. I love the heat and will never ever complain that it’s too hot, but the muggy, buggy and gross “I go outside and feel instantly wet and my hair turns into an afro” feeling, not so much.


Current procrastination: Looking into Masters/Internship programs. I want to do it because I want to be ready, but despite having the time to do it, I just tend to sloth when I actually sit down for the day. Oops.

Current confession:¬†I hate to be that girl…but I’m kind of looking forward to the new school rush at the gym to see if anyone interesting shows up. No no, no early 20’s sillys, I’m done with the early 20’s. Can someone mature and have a goal in life…oh and lifts…walk up to me and be my swolemate yet?

Current quote: Just something to think about

Screen Shot 2016-08-18 at 9.28.00 PM

Re-Posted from here 

When you do something, are they truly for you? Are they something to make you happy. Are they something that makes you excited?

..Or are they something that some force has told you is what you should want or how you should behave?

Current excitement: Working with my new client! I met up with her today for nutrition consulting and both of us are excited to begin our sessions together. She actually happens to attend my gym and live right in my area so I can have our meetings face-to-face which is really nice.

Current mood:¬†Trying my best to keep happy afloat. I know I know I need to stop¬†complaining¬†about feeling sick, but it really does affect my mood. I have a lot of things to be happy about and to enjoy so I’m trying to keep those in the forefront while my stomach and I are at war.

Well that’s the update on moi, so tell me something about your life!

Much love! 



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Sunday Feelz…Update On Moi

Hiya Friends,


Hope you all are having a great weekend thus far and enjoy a nice lazy Sunday. I’m currently enjoying my first morning at the parents house and I’m ¬†off to the gym in a little bit but I just wanted to give a short lil post about where I am currently as some people have been asking lately.

You know I like to be honest and open with you in my journey and struggles, so I feel as if I need to keep you all in the loop and I want to share! Although I do hate over talking about myself so I will keep it short and sweet.

Just like me…sorry I had to. ūüôā

So, what’s been up with me and my health as of late?

Well, it has been officially about 6 months since I started working with my coach and have been increasing my intake. Although I will not post how much I have increased it, is quite a bit and as far as my weight, although many of you may not think this is a large enough amount, but I have gained about 4 pounds in that time.

Yes, I know weight gain is my goal, but keep in mind my frame. Four pounds may seem small for an average person along 6-7 months of eating in a surplus, but I’m 5’0 and under 100lbs so that is actually¬†decent. Especially so¬†because of the way my body works (ie. my fast metabolism) and my training.¬†I just wanted to put that into perspective.

Despite me saying that, I feel no need justify myself to anyone. I’m moving forward in not only weight and strength, but my health is on point for the most part, my psychological health is improving and overall I just feel better.

So in order to keep it brief, I will put some of these things below in bullet form because that ensures I don’t over chat about them.¬†


~I get my vitals done twice monthly to ensure that inner things are all good. All of them are good and normal for me. Heart rate is in athletic range and my BP is good for me (low, but that has been normal for my whole life).

~I get blood work done along with an ECG also about 2 times a month to check the minerals, vitamins and such. Both are good with one lil issue right now being my urea is too high, suggesting that my intake of protein is quite high and possibly I’m a bit dehydrated because of it.¬†NOTE that this is not going to hurt my kidneys, high protein intake doesn’t cause harm but instead can¬†aggravate if previous kidney problems, which I don’t have, are present.

~TMI for guys, so skip it, but I still suffer from amenorrhea. This is going to come back with time and although I’m going to get major slack for saying this, but I’m trying not to sweat it too much. YES I want it back because it’s important not only for fertility but also for a bunch of other things (hello bone health, etc) and tells me that I’m in good general health BUT I also know that weight gain is a process and over stressing about it is just not going to help. SO, yes I am working to get it back, but I have to let my body determine when it will trust me to that degree again.

~My stomach has been a BITCH. Excuse my language, but my IBS has been the worst it has ever been. I knew going into this ‘bulk’ that it wouldn’t be happy but I never knew how much it would be aggravated and how much that would affect my mood and body image issues. Thankfully, my doctor has given me something to help with digestion (Domperidone) and OMG that has made things so much better. I only take about 1/3 of the recommended dose but that alone has really helped me feel normal to an extent.

NOTE that this is nothing like laxative or anything else that can lead to dependency. You can stop taking it at any time, it has no consequences/side effects and has been said to be one of the most useful tools for those undergoing re-feeding.

What about Training?

I have always been up front and honest with you all about my refusal to give up on my training and I stand by that. My health and weight is improving right along with my training so I’m not planning on stopping or slowing my pace any time soon. I know I may get some judgement for that, but I’m just being honest. Training is my passion and it’s not going anywhere.

It is my mental clarity.

My stress relief

It gives me goals to focus on through the hard times of this process.

It’s just part of¬†me. I’m stronger then I have ever been¬†and if you see me train you can see my love for it (I have been actually told that).

So please, do not tell me I should cut back or worst yet, stop, until I’m ‘better.’ I’m getting ¬†better on both sides. Health and the gym are both improving simultaneously. I’m not being stubborn here, I’m being a realist. I need it to keep me going and, quite frankly, it keeps me happy. This process is hard and somedays knowing that I get that gym time gets me through it.

That aside, I said my strength has increased?

Oh yes, that food has gone to work for sure. I think that my strength has gone up a lot faster then my weight and I’m seeing muscle starting to come back and it’s just further pushing me to keep going.

I want more.

So here are some highlights.

My back squat has gone from 95lbs to 135lbs for equal reps (about 5ish on a good day)

My front squat has surpassed my previous from when I was heavier. (about 105lbs for 5)

My bench is back at body weight. I want to push this further but I also know that bench is very much affected by body weight in most people, so keep trekkin.

Pull-ups have gone from about 5-6 back up to almost 10 depending on grip despite the slight weight increase.

Overhead press dipped down to 35lbs but is now back up to where it was previously at 50lbs. <- OHP is one of the hardest movements for me so bare with me. It’s progress.

The one lift I’m frustrated with is deadlifts. Granted I haven’t done them for a long time (shameful for a ‘gymrat’ I know), but I’m stuck at just above bodyweight right now. There is something I’m not doing right with my form I’m sure so it’s something to look into if I want to improve.

So yeah, in both my mental and physical health, I’m progressing forward. I cannot thank all of my supporters more for what they have done for me during this process and moving forward, I know that things can only get better. I have a sense of mental clarity and peace more so then ever. I’m seeing more and more what makes me happy and branching out to explore more.

So overall I’m happier, have more energy and am just enjoying life much more. It makes me very happy to hear others see that too because hearing that you are glowing is much better then ‘are you okay?’

That is one of the best changes thus far.

And throwing up an end of the post¬†cheesy flex-it pic just because I feel you need to see something and I’m starting to like my shoulders more…



Before you say it…booty growth is my biggest goal. ūüėČ

And now I’m embarrassed ha! Signing off! It’s my favourite time. Gyyyymmmin.

Much love friends!



Currently…Whoa It’s June!


Tons of photos courtesy of Rita and my trip to the Arboretum last Monday. So beautiful and warm. 

Happy Memorial Day to my American Friends! Hope you are soaking up some sun wherever you are of just catching up on some R&R!

This weekend was a pretty great one for me! To start, Emily surprised us and dropped back into the house a day early on Wednesday evening. Rita and I were so happy to see her and we got to spend a few hours during the day here and there as she went back and forth between us and her BF’s house. Oh the single lady status for Rita and I…le sigh

Saturday included some of this at the Kitty Cafe


8 weeks old…


….Balls of fluffy love. OMG. So sweet. I was kind of disappointed that we couldn’t hold them, but as you can see, they were pooped and I can see that them being tossed around to every child that came through would be too stressful.¬†

Back into the heat (ain’t complaining…),¬†Rita¬†decided to jump in the splash pad but the lil kids were too crazy and splashing everywhere that it lasted a whole 2 seconds…


Don’t take her outfit as a serious indicator of the weather. It was 32 before the humidex..

Then we almost died when a car ran over a bottle and it literally was so loud that it sounded like an explosion.

The whole park went silent following a huge gasp from the crowd. Thinking about it afterwards, its amazing to see the natural reactions of the human species. Instant panic means everyone freezes and all looks to the direction of the sound as they try to process the ‘threat.’ Now, if it actually was a threat it would have then turned into chaos with people running, screaming, trampling others and grabbing their kids but thankfully, it was only the smashing of a bottle.

Psychology in action. 

Finally, yesterday, Jimmy (friend from McMaster) drove down from TO to catch up and it had been so long since I had even seen him that it was nice to be able to see what his adulting (aka he has a legit job!) self has been up to.


So I haven’t done an update in a while and since we are here at the end of May (crazy to think that school ended a whole month ago!) I figured I would do one of the currently style posts that float around the bloggy land.

Current Confession:

I’m currently writing this rather then doing my work just because I have a cup of tea in front of me. Tea + blogging first, then work…makes no sense I know.

Current Book:

What’s a book?

For real, I’m bad and don’t really read. I read journals and such for my work and school and blogs for my entertainment. As for¬†actual literature, I can’t sit still long enough to read a physical book.

Current Music:

Screen Shot 2016-05-19 at 10.13.56 AM

Yup, still stuck on this song. It’s too good. I have also come to love this cover of Drakes¬†One Dance.¬†I do like the original version, but I really like this version. Check it!

Current Guilty Pleasure:

Does soaking up the sun count? For real, sun in large doses isn’t good but I’m sorry I have waited so long for this weather that I can’t help but literally try to bathe myself in it all day…


Current Entertainment:

OMG Mistresses is on tonight!

Current Wish/Need:

Tickets to the the GNC Toronto Pro SuperShow!! I just found out this week that it’s this Saturday!! I love going and hope I can round of some peeps and make the trek to TO to attend…. and kick some aaaaasssss at the plank off for Sick Kids hospital.¬†Will I take it again this year? Hmmm…


I know a lot of the fitness YouTuber’s I watch are going to be wandering around and I’m hoping to make a spotting or two.

Current Food:

I have currently slid back into my obsession with pistachios. My oatsies are being garnished with all of the roasted green treasures.

Current Drink:

Nothing new here. I’m not much of a crazy drinker. I still have my normal afternoon Tim’s Peppermint Tea despite sweating my face off to drink it.


Current Triumph:

Being told I was exceptional by my supervisor.



This job I’m working now is just the best thing. I’m producing work that she says ‘goes beyond what she expected from a typical undergrad’ while still fully immersing myself in this summer as well. I get the privilege of doing my work whenever I want and it’s more then¬†amazing.

I’m so happy that I can please her and excited to work towards our¬†ultimate goal of the summer, which is publication of my systematic review. I would be a published author peeps!

Current Bane of Existence:

Needles. I had to get my blood drawn today…Coincidentally, so did Rita, so we braved it out together….and then we went to the mall.


Oh, and also, a certain person who will remain unnamed…

Just so you know, I’m a very very hard person to make upset. I don’t dislike people but when I say no, I mean no. End of story. Asking 4 thousand times and getting more and more inappropriate to the point of me feeling slightly icky is just pushing my button a lil bit too far.

Said person doesn’t read my blogs or interact with social media so I have no issue venting here.

Current Blogger Crush:

Dietician Deanna. I seriously love her. Her Instagram and her blog. She is just so real and open about everything.

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 10.08.45 AM

Current Indulgence:

Shopping. Guys, since I got my first paycheque I have been giving myself some loving in the materialistic way…


Current Blessing:


My friends. I’m really enjoying having the time to spend with my friends and explore new places this summer while not having to feel guilty that I’m not working. I have the best of both worlds this summer and I’m going to embrace it. I’m very thankful to have the opportunity that I do.

Current Outfit:

Anything summery! I have been whipping out all the things short, flowy and flirty because when summer weather comes, I actually may have a slightly better sense of dressing myself.

Current Excitement:

Did I mention the Pro SuperShow ūüėõ

Current Link: 

It ain’t always all lulu’s and donuts….

Current Mood:

ūüėÄ ….and sore..cuz leg day.


Something you’re currently thankful for?
What’s your summer ‘uniform’?


Friday Favourites

My Friends!

Happy Friday My Peeps.

Whats new?

This Friday I am loving a few things and that all starts off with the fact that…


What are friends?

Just kidding. This exam period didn’t try to run me over with a truck this year and I’m so thankful that it was super relaxing. I had a total of two (unheard of for me!) and they were a week apart so I had the time to enjoy the beautiful weather that last weekend brought us with my housies.


So much love for them you have no idea. ‚̧

After all of it is said and done, I can say that my easy-peasy approach never led me to one of these moments…


Speaking of friends

I had a lil buddy for my ice cream tonight…

Audrina 4 (3)

Adrian’s choice was spiderman –> mix of bubble gum and fruity flavours. The kids like the colourful ones I suppose.

My friend Rebecca’s lil cutie, Audrina. She literally would not let her Mom take her bowl away until she drank it all. Like ALL of it. So funny…

Audrina 2 (3)

She’s got good taste in ice cream ūüėČ

As for me, they brought my caramel Skor gelato back and so got that on top of my usual salty caramel because we all know that dat flavour ain’t going anywhere until they take it away from me…


More Ice Cream?

This…I need this! Holy moly I have wanted to try the cashew milk ones (apparently even better then the coconut milk varieties which are pretty good, almond milk ones…not so much and soy…no thanks), but omg the caramel make me officially get on it…


…and I don’t need to say much about this…



New BBQ (err. Dad’s…). First grill of the season. First halibut steaks of the season. Nuff said.

My job is intriguing me.

Despite the fact that I don’t get much time off, as I start my ‘job’ on Monday, I’m thinking my summa will still be pretty easy going. ¬†I previously mentioned, I believe (?) that I got a job in Guelph¬†doing research that had a component of nutrition. SO, I snagged that baby as fast as I could because a position in dietetics that isn’t volunteer is hard to come by! Anywho, basically after breaking down her research focus, I will be looking into couple concordance in health behaviours and interest in health interventions and early prevention/screening tools. In other words, does your significant other affect whether or not you would do a new screening for a given disease or whether or not you follow certain health behaviours? Cool eh?

On top of all of that, I get to do my work when and wherever I want just as long as I get it done and it’s full time paid work. I’m getting paid to do literature reviews on what makes people do things for their health!

Can I say winning yet?

I’m content. ūüėÄ

Finally, speaking of research, I came across an interesting article today on Facebook and decided to share…

Metabolic Damage…Again.¬†

I know I have touched on this topic time and time again, but heres to giving you another resource to take a peak at if you are still on the fence and not ready to drop the cardio and eat all the foods your body is crying out for.

A damaged metabolism does more then just make loosing weight nearly impossible (and fat gain possibly…well, possible). Classic symptoms of your body being overly stressed including digestive upset (bloating, indigestion, etc), water retention, fatigue, etc are all very common and just plain annoying if you ask me. Furthermore, more serious things such as the loss in the ability to absorb some of your nutrients (because your gut is A-N-G-R-Y) and chronically high levels of cortisol (hello fat gain and overtaxed organs) also happen and are not things to mess around with.

So without going back into it, I will conclude with saying…

Eat more then 1200 calories because that doesn’t mean you loose weight, it often means you gain it.

The longer you starve yourself, the longer it’s going to take to heal

This same goes for cardio. More cardio is not better. More cardio just means more fixing later. Do as little as you can to simply keep your ticker tickin.

No hour to two hour treadmill or stair steppin session mmmkay?

So yeah, I hope you had a great Friday. Good luck with any left over exams for my fellow students and have a great weekend my friends!





Winding Down This Wednesday

Trigger Warning. For those who are currently struggling or are triggered by the discussion of exercise, psychological struggles, pictures, food, etc please refrain from reading this lil update. The goal here is to ensure everyone remains in a safe place mentally when on my blog!

My friends.

Do you know how much it has hurt me not to be able to chatter with you much this semester? I have my moments where I wonder if you are feeling let down¬†or frustrated with me thinking that I just don’t enjoy or want to blog anymore but please believe me when I say that is far from the truth.

I miss you all and I miss sharing things with you! 

I have tried to push aside the guilt about not blogging and focus on the fact that I’m finishing up my semester hopefully on a high and that I am actively working to bring back up my health status…

My health. How is that progress now that I mention it?

I owe you an update.

I have been officially been working with my coach, Mike, since the beginning of January. I had brought it up before then but we didn’t really gett’er going for real¬†until then. So I suppose I’m wrapping up my third month with him. So what has that brought?

Weight Gains?

Can’t say really because Mike doesn’t want me weighing myself. I will be honest and say that I was initially weighing myself because I felt as if I needed to know when the scale began to tip up. You heard about my lil meltdown I had previously when it did increase a bit and so I have been forbidden to get on it since. To be rational though, that number really truly DOESN’T matter.¬†Your weight tells you nothing about what is going on with your body really. It doesn’t tell you whether you’ve gained fat, water, muscle and so forth. It doesn’t tell you if your organs are repairing themselves. Whether your hormones are regulating. NOTHING. So really, all it does it make you obsessed with a number for no apparent reason.

So with that in mind, ¬†I do weekly progress pictures with Mike and he makes changes as we go…which is EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

Food Gains?


I’m not going to say what my specific current numbers are, but to give you kind of an idea…

I’m almost eating my weight in fat (number of grams to number of¬†pounds).

I’m eating triple my weight in carbohydrates.

And around double my weight in protein.

And this is only the beginning. Pretty much without fail, with each passing week, I get another increase. The struggle is real, ya feel? Guys may not (4000+ cals would get their attention), but ladies, do you know how much food that is. Geesh

What I will say is that is just another piece of evidence to show you that you¬†don’t need to be restricting to 1200 calories to maintain your weight or even loose weight! Yes, everybody’s body is different and they all metabolize and respond to nutrients differently but let me be an example to you. Eating high carbs doesn’t make you fat. Eating more then 1200 calories per day doesn’t make you fat.

I may be 5 feet tall but I train hard and so my metabolism is basically a beast…err efficient. I’m truly learning that I need a lot of food just to keep up with it, let alone, make it grow.

BUT! Even if you don’t train, you need to fuel your body sufficiently.

Strength Gains?

Oh yes my friends!

My pride and joy right now is my squat. Since reading week (mid February) my back squat has increased 25lbs! I’m now squatting more then 1.5 times my body weight which is so exciting as that was a lift that really took a hit when my body basically gave up on me¬†(i.e. my strength took a nose dive) in the gym after the weight loss. I’m pushing so hard to reach that 135 ASAP!

Overall though, I’m much more energetic in the gym, my lifts have been feeling amazing and almost everything is just going up. I PR at least once a week in something and it’s just an amazing feeling.



Mental Gainz?

Lots! Yes, I have had my share of mini meltdowns throughout this process and things may have taken longer then they should have sometimes, but the point is that I not only have to fight the physical but I’m also fighting back the mental as well and that is tough.

I get frustrated with myself sometimes because I wish I could be like everyone else and be happy to be told to eat more food, but I have to take a step back though and realize what significant barriers I have broken down!

~It may have taken me 3 weeks longer then it was supposed to but I managed to add 4 tbsp of nut butter to my day ON TOP OF what I was already eating in my morning oats. This was huge because I had this ‘rule’ in my head that said I was only allowed to eat 1 serving a day MAX (2 tbsp).

~I still have my treat meals (almost still weekly) despite the increases. That was hard for me because I felt that I should stop eating ice cream every Friday due to my already eating more then normal.


Jays is back open for the season! Let the spoiling begin!! Homemade Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter gelato (right) and my ultimate favourite, Salty Caramel (left). All their products are made in store. Drools….

~I realized I still get hungry despite eating more. That was another big thing for me. You see, for me, my struggles surround feelings of fullness. I don’t necessarily freak out over calories per say, but I freak out thinking I’m going to feel more full because when I’m more full my tummy will stick out and that’s when I have issues. When you start to feed your body properly after a time of restriction, your body starts to realize that it’s getting more and with that, it can then allow itself to use those additions and ASK for those additions through hunger or other signals. Often times you may think something is a lot but then the next day your stomach will start growling for that extra food because it wants it. It’s proof that your body is efficient. More food or just enough food means that your metabolism is able to be the most efficient and use those nutrients to the best it can, making you an optimal burning machine.

~I haven’t gotten fat. Despite a fairly big increase (in my opinion) to what I’m eating, I have not gotten fat. Instead I have gotten stronger and I have been getting comments that I look healthier (despite the fact that I still really haven’t gained that much). My coach tries to keep me on the straight and narrow about that whole situation but it’s hard for me not to be negative sometimes. That, my friends, is a work in progress.

Any Negatives?

Any change won’t come without it’s share of some not so nice things. For me, the biggest struggle, other then my mind (I’m looking at you ED!), has been my IBS kicking up a fuss with every damn increase pretty much. If any of you have irritable stomachs you know how moody you can get when your stomach decides to screw with you. It sucks, like hard. I’m learning the very weird limits my stomach has and¬†I have had to adapt and try to work with it¬†or else I will just spend all my days with excessive and painful gas, no hunger (because of said gas) and bloating. Sorry TMI but it just doesn’t make this process any easier physically or mentally.

I’m still pushing though and I have so much love and support plus an amazing coach who is backing me up and having patience with some of my irrational thoughts and whining. I will do this and I will come out on top.


So, I don’t know if you have been wondering what I look like at the moment as my selfie¬†game has been weak for the past lil bit…

I was super hesitant to post this because I was afraid of what you might think. I was afraid that you would think I looked gross and too skinny. Well the fact is that I am too skinny but I’m moving in the right direction and I should be proud of the gains that I have made regardless of how small they may be. This is my starting point and I’m full speed ahead towards my goals.


The left was the first progress picture I sent to Mike. The right was two weeks ago. Again, the changes may be small and I’m still small but I’m making progress and he was super happy to tell me about it by putting this shot together for me to compare.¬†

If you have continued to stick by me during this dry period that is this semester, I appreciate it so much and I cannot say sorry enough for not bringing you the content you deserve. I hope that I can do better now that this crazy semester is coming to an end.

I love you all and lets hope my blog can be a bit more active once again because lets be real, my chattering and random thoughts just cannot be contained!





I Owe You An Update…

The title says it all. I had gone MIA on you all once again. Man this semester is really killing my bloggin game. Don’t they care that I have readers to amuse, huh?

Guess not.

My apologies but you know…#StudentLife.


So on this lovely Friday let me fill you in a lil bit.

1. Gainz

***Trigger Warning. I will be expressing thoughts that may make some feel uncomfortable. Please note that I am aware these are not healthy or rational thoughts but I’m just wanting to express to you how I felt at the time***

So yes, I have officially put on a pound or two with my coach. That may not seem like a lot based on how long I have been working away at it with him but you have to understand that when your metabolism is high and your workouts are tough, just getting the scale to tip over the edge is really really hard. You need a lot more food then you think just to make it budge.

I have made it past a number of fears.


~Eating rice cakes before bed.

~Eating more peanut butter then I ever imagined. I love peanut butter but I always had this rule that I was only allowed 2 tbsp a day (ie. a serving on the label). Still working with that fear….my last addition via my coach was “Let’s just add 3-4 tbsp of nut butter this week. You love the stuff right?” Uggghhh I love it but that much scares the crap out of me.

I’m still dealing with challenges associated with the weekly¬†increases that has has me doing.

~Having my weekly ‘cheatmeal’ errrr.. treat meal despite always being bumped calories.¬†My head tells me to feel bad for having my ice cream for example because I’m already in a surplus so you don’t need it. Bad Chelsea.

I still have issues with not feeling in control.

And yes, I did in fact have a pretty nasty melt down when I saw that scale shift.

Rationally I know that is the plan. Rationally I know I need it and I DO WANT IT. I really do want to look healthier! I want to fill out my lil fitness freak booty. I want my cheeks to fill out more. I want to look like I lift and gain back the strength I lost for gawds sake, which you cannot do when you are too lean. But the increase in the number shook me and sent my mind into a state of mixed¬†thoughts along with some tears and unfortunate body checking and poking…

Where is it??? Look that part’s softer…Is that a lump?! OMG I’m¬†gunna get fat!

I have always told you that I don’t like the scale and it’s useless. Truth is…that still stands true. The scale means nothing. It is not a measure of anything really because you can gain weight but looker leaner (hello muscle mass!) and then it just messes with your mind.

That in mind, I felt as if I needed to check once and a while to ensure I wasn’t loosing any more weight and also to know when I started to gain so I could say I was going up. It didn’t really phase me. Yes, the number I saw was much too low and I knew it, but I was not mentally prepared for how I would feel if it actually moved up.

That day came and I broke. I cried. I failed¬†didn’t hit¬†my increase that week because I automatically assumed that because I gained I was just going to stock pile fat on myself because apparently thats what happens when I’m talking about my own body.


I still struggle with thinking that somehow my body is different then others. Others will be fine, but I will become hideous or something. I dunno. Again, irrational.¬†I need to take my own advice and know that I’m getting healthy because I’m NOT healthy right now.

Instead I need to focus on the positives. I’m getting stronger again in the gym and I’m loving it.

I PR’ed today finally hitting my 1.5 times my body weight back squat again. I lit up like a firecracker.¬†

That week was rough but I have accepted it and my dietician spoke to me about the body dysmorphia aspect. Not that I should be trying to rationalize the gain in any way but it will probably be a long time before weight will begin to really show on me because my low body fat percentage means that my organs and vital tissues need a lil bit of assistance first before some of those superficial things.

…When you get an error message stepping on a bioimpediance scale (measures your body fat %) you know that you’re too low…

I know that scale is not the most accurate but still…an¬†error message!?! and that was three meals in…

Anyways, onto bigger and better things and on to more muscle! I’m gaining my friends and that just means I’m getting healthier and working towards my fitness goals.

2. I got a job!

A research job…that isn’t volunteering…in my field!! I found that at my school they offer URA research projects¬†for students in various departments over the summer months. They pay just like any full time job, actually more in my case because rather then minimum wage I’m getting $11.50/hour, and you are doing research for a prof or Ph.D student on campus.¬†How much of an awesome opportunity it that!

Anyways, although that means that I will have to stay in Guelph and not live at home all through the summer, I am excited that I get this chance to do some research as it will help me work towards my career goals.

3. Hell week is upon us…

Yes, my restaurant (the one I keep complaining about) is this Tuesday. Its starts at the crack of dawn (7:45am) Monday morning on campus with receiving our ingredients (and hopefully not being yelled at all morning…that has happened to multiple groups) and continues all day with prepping the food for the actual service Tuesday morning/afternoon. Tuesday we are back in at the crack of dawn for set up, more prep and getting our **it together before service begins at 11:30am. After 2:30 when class is done, we get our review and grade then while many would crack a bottle of wine, I’m going to hit the gym and then go home and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the night because I will deserve it after little to no sleep and yelling for 48 hours.

Crossing our fingers it goes well.

Anyways my lovely friends, I’m sorry again that I really have been absent this semester.

It’s not you its me.

I hope to chatter with you more and bring back more information posts as things die down a bit.

I’m off to take my ice cream filled belly to beddies

Nite Nite all!




Mishmash Thursdays…Thinking Out Loud

Friends, Friends, Friends!

It’s been over a week I know I know, but remember I mentioned that the restaurant course was taking over my life…yeah. Meant I had no life.

For one, I wanted to chuck my phone out the window. No joke.

Yeah… don’t think it’s possible for any teen or early adult to hate their phone with a passion? Think again.


How would you feel if your messenger was legit buzzing 4 times before you could even answer the first message….

Cue in my restaurant course’s first assignment and my life basically all last week until we finally handed that fat stack of papers this¬†Tuesday¬†in lab

I now have a slight twitch going on whenever I hear my phone vibrate. A week of 24 hour buzzing really messes with you mind.

2. Tummy Troubles. 

On top of that stress, I also had a major shift in my meal plan, which subconsciously always leads to a lot of anxiety for me. This has left my stomach less then happy. I will say it’s getting a bit better now that I’m going through the days but to be honest I feel like **it right now. The¬†days leading up to the start date¬†alway freak me out and that starts the tummy, while actually starting to do it, I have to physically adjust and right now food is not that appealing. I know things are bad when my beloved oatmeal is not making me sing.

Plus tummy stress, which leads to digestive issues is not a good thing for when you’re needing to eat more…

Good thing for me, I think my stress levels are coming down so hopefully over the next few days it will be back to normal…until the next change. -_-

3. Withdrawals

Speaking of my meal plan change, my favourite snack was removed (midnight snack of questbar and pudding was switched for whole foods). I’m only a few days in and I’m already going through withdrawals. Thankfully my rest day was not touched by my coach so I get it once a week, but for real peeps, I didn’t realize just how much I loved that snack. My nightly night cap come back to me!

Do you know how hard it is to see my various boxes of Questies and cannot eat them?! Dyyyyyiiinng.

4. Amazing shows.

I dunno what you all watch, but a few of my shows have been legit amazing as this week.

Code Black had an epic ending, Chicago fire my Mom told me was amazing so I watched that yesterday night and yes I have to agree. Masterchef Junior was the finale this week (I totally called it!)

Also a new #GuiltyPleasure added to my list of Slice shows (i.e. things like the housewives and such that are stupid yet entertaining) is the Newlyweds: The First Year. Will they make it or break it?

5. Speaking of shows…

The end of My Diet is Better Then Yours was last week as well and once again I totally called it. The Superfoods diet took the cake and I can’t say I was surprised. Of any diet (not that you should be on a diet!) was much more realistic in the long run.

Main Idea: taking your everyday foods and simply swapping ingredients out for more nutrient dense foods. For example, adding some vegetables (hiding them) in a sauce. Swapping whole grain for white. Stuff like that.

Shockers with the end of this show was that some of the behind the scene issues reared their ugly head

  • The fact that Kurt was taking in like 1000 calories on the Wild Diet. They talked about how they would slowly introduce more carbohydrates in addition to the fact that foods he ate just really filled him up so he didn’t need as much food. Ummm I’m sorry a 5o something year old man who isomer 6 feet tall should not be taking in that lil number of calories. How sustainable is that despite him saying he has never felt better….
  • Personal issues erupted with one of the ladies and led to her leaving the show. If weight loss is your goal, other major obstacles (in her case separation from her wife and lack of support during this¬†transition) can lead to your goals being left unmet. If you’re vulnerable you need support and this perfectly highlighted just how important that is.
  • One positive was the fact that factors other then food and exercise were highlighted on the “No Diet” as sleep and stress were tackled and showed positive benefits on his weight loss journey.

6. Speaking of dieting…

Interesting study done at my previous university, McMaster, on the age old question…

Can you loose weight and gain muscle at the same time?

You have always heard, and I have preached, that you cannot do the both at the same time but this study done at McMaster says the opposite. They felt that you could loose weight while sustaining your muscle mass or even increasing it at the same time provided you had both a high protein intake and intense physical activity

A group of males followed a restricted calorie diet + intense physical activity for a total of 4 weeks and here were the results:

~Weight loss of 11-12 pounds on average

~Muscle gain of 2-3lbs, which they interpreted as yes they gained muscle but then the majority of weight loss was then fat

~They concluded that protein is then key during weight loss to sustain muscle BUT so is exercise as even those in the lower protein diet group showed very lil muscle loss

So how would you take that? Can you then gain muscle and loose fat at the same time? They showed evidence of this, but I’m still skeptical as this study only had young male subjects and so we can’t really generalize anything at this point.

ALSO keep in mind this line

Of course, by the end of the month, none of the men wished to continue. This type of extreme calorie cutting combined with intense exercise ‚Äúis not a sustainable program in the long term,‚ÄĚ Dr. Phillips said. ‚ÄúIt‚Äôs more a kind of boot camp,‚ÄĚ he said, manageable in the short term by people who are very committed and generally very healthy.

It mentioned that all they could think about was food. High intensity exercise + restricted diets is a recipe for disaster. It is not long term at all.

So I’m still sticking to the notion that you cannot do both. Muscle needs food to grow which means a calorie surplus, not a deficit which is needed for weight loss. Eat to grow ain’t a huge hashtag for nothin.

7. Roll Up the Rim is Back at Timmies


Failed thus far, but lets see if that daily tea brings me some winnings ūüėČ

DAMMIT that just reminded me that I threw my cup out today without rollin it up….fail.¬†

8. This list of quotations.

Click here.

This page is actually the deepest life quotations I have read…

13.  Do not carry broken people who are not in the process of rebuilding themselves.

That one really hit me for some reason. And I just had to share this one:

19.  You are inherently valuable.  You have worth.  Ask no one for permission.

9. We are going out for burgers tomorrow…

As much as those things (the Works elk burger) were delicious I have been actively trying to find an excuse to get out of it if I’m being completely honest with you all. Every time I eat I just remember how full I was after that burger and due to fullness and constant heartburn I’m feeling over the past 2 days due to my meal plan boost, I’m just feeling not so excited despite remembering how yummy it was. Legit I feel like every night is going to suck. No Questbars. No Pudding. Heartburn. Fish. Ugh.

I hope that changes, fast! I don’t want to hate food.

In light of that…

10. It’s Eating Disorder Awareness Week Feb 1-7th!

Check out this video that debunks a lot of the myths and lies surrounding eating disorders as many are still ignorant to what really surrounds this horrible disease. 

Eating disorders are NOT CHOICE

It’s harder then just eating more food.

Anorexia is one of the top killers due to mental illness.

Check out the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (or NEDIC) for more resources and information

And that’s me just Thinking Out Loud with the best of them over on Amanda’s page.


Join the thinkers and check out what they are sayin

As part of ED awareness week, lets spread the self love. State 3 things you love about your body. I love my tiny nose, my big brown eyes and I truly have learned to love being petite as it makes me feel more feminine like a doll.