I have officially been disturbed. A stat that was mentioned by my prof in my night class the tonight really just got my panties in a twist. I even ranted about it on facebook…
It just really stuck with me. I felt angry. Sad. Guilty. Confused. How could a few words stir up so many different emotions?
I was angry because we have all contributed to a society that makes everyone feel like they are unattractive or that they don’t measure up to what we all think is beautiful.
Sad because I can’t bear the thought of a little girl, so precious and innocent, telling me point blank that she is not beautiful. What’s worse is that it made me wonder if they can even fully grasp what the word beautiful means. So really, before they can even fully understand the concept, society is pre-programming their definition with toxic lies. Beauty is skin deep. Beauty is thinness. Beauty is flawlessness. Perfection. If you don’t look like the cover models or celebrities, you are not beautiful. You will never measure up. That is what makes me sad. This is the definition every child will come to understand.
Have I contributed to any of this? Of course I have! I’m part of our society so I have also contributed to this toxic environment. Whether it is the last time I body shammed my body or said “I wish I could wear that, but it wouldn’t look good on my frame,” I have contributed to the spreading of this problem. The problem that beauty is skin deep.
Confused. What has led to this getting so bad? When did it start. Can we reverse it? Are we too late? Is it even possible to reverse?
This topic is really upsetting to me and I was reminded today that I too fall victim to it while also subconsciously contributing it. If I was asked if I believed I was beautiful, hesitation follows. It’s a sad realization when you can’t tell your own self that you believe you are beautiful because of all of the flaws that flood your mind when you are trying to decide on your answer.
Am I wrong?
Sadly, we are a society that not only spreads fake images of beauty (ie. cover models that are tweaked, blurred, molded, stretched, etc to make this picture perfect image that is no longer a real person) and are thus focused on appearance rather than inner qualities, but we are also one that is innately revolved around our flaws rather than our positives. So technically, the making of a negative self image is two fold.
So what can we do?
Well, it’s irrational to think that we can just avoid being influenced by the media and the words of others, as they are everywhere. Whether they are subconscious or conscious, they are everywhere and, really, unavoidable. It’s also unrealistic to promise that you will never say anything negative ever again. All you can do here is say you will work at it.
So instead, help yourself out and try really hard to work up some positives about yourself. These can help to buffer your esteem against the blows of the socitey, whether you think they are affecting you or not. These positives can really be anything, and yes, this does include those about appearance. Although the world doesn’t revolve around appearance, we can’t say that our image means nothing to us, so make sure to include those in your list of positives too.
Despite being in class and taking notes while also working on another assignment during said class…
I’m linking up with Amanda over at Spoons for Thinking Out Loud because I just had to get that off my chest.
Goodnight my lovelies. Do me a favour…
Tell me three things you find beautiful about yourself.
While you’re at it…
Lets add in some healthy body love too…
Gimme 3 things you find beautiful about your body.
I will start.
I find my empathy beautiful. I love being able have the ability to really feel for something and the situation they are in.
My strength. Not only being physically strong, but the strength that has come from working through the barriers and challenges that life throws my way. I have survived and I’m stronger and more confident because of it.
My passion. When I love something, you can tell.
Alrighty body, you don’t hear enough love, so soak it up…
My smile. I have been told it lights up my whole face. A smile that shows joy is truly beautiful.
My nose. It’s little just like the rest of me and it has a cute lil freckle on it that’s big enough that everyone can see it.
My dimples. You lil holes on my face, you always show my happiness and happiness is a beautiful and contagious thing.
Your turn. Let me hear them.