Lil Miss Fitness Freak

"And though she be but little, she is fierce"


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Emotionally Numb..TOL

Are you one of those people who knows something big is happening soon but don’t really feel it until the day of?

When that day comes, its like a bomb exploded instead of being a slow burning flame that will quietly simmer and then just fizzle out.

Sound dramatic?

As my undergrad comes to a close (2nd one, yay for year 7 of post-highschool schooling…) I have been pondering a lot of things lately, yet I feel almost unattached to the emotions I feel they should be associated with.

…maybe that is my first problem…overthinking..

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I’m leaving my housemates. I know I’m going to cry the day of, I know it. I love these two girls and for now I just think that them leaving hasn’t hit me yet. I swear I have feelings..

I’m moving in with new housemates. I have met one of them and she’s so sweet and just like me in the sense that she appears to me like an ‘older soul’ and one who gets stuff done and is a respective and responsible person.

I have to go back home and work inside all summer long. I think this is the one that I have been the most vocal about. My job last summer was a dream. I spend my days outside, I did my research at night and I was the most relaxed I had ever been I felt. this was a true blessing because I was sick (Read: infested without knowing it) at the time and although I was struggling with it, I don’t know how bad it would have gotten if I hadn’t have been so free and care-free.

I’m having to leave my second family (my gym fam) for the whole summer because I have to go home. This may seem silly to many of you, but I feel a certain ‘place’ there. I’m known and I just feel at home there. My friends are there. Friends who share my interests and can gab for days about all the things I love. My people live and breathe there just like me. It may only be for 4 months, but its just another thing I’m leaving…

My Masters is apparently going to be a crazy time. From placements to my masters, I have so much to do in a whole 3 semesters and I weirdly feel calm. I’m excited for my placements but I know that so much change is about to occur and at this point and ‘calmness’ I don’t know how the initial days are going to fare with such a change to my normal scheduling.

….After my Masters, life hits you like a bag of bricks….

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Should I think about where I want to live as an adult?

How am I going to afford a place to live when I’m done. I’m not going back home right? I can’t, I just can’t. But a place…On my own…Am I ready for that? Can I even think about affording that?

I don’t even know how to do my own taxes for gods sake!

And all I have to say for myself at the moment is I feel nothing. I’m not sad. I’m not worried and I’m not (consciously at least) anxious about it.

That in itself makes me worried because when it all hits me, I don’t know how I’m going to react. That is a lot of change. And I, mentally and physically (heres pointing at your stomach of hell), don’t do well with change.

How do I prepare if I feel nothing?

Am I somehow able to suppress all feelings because I’m overwhelmed with all the change that is imminent? 

I dunno.

I guess for now I need to just continue to focus on my exams and when two weeks from now comes up and I’m hugging my housemates and saying goodbye, I will just have to accept what happens is what I need to have happen. There is no planning that can be done, just let the feels be feels.

On a side note, I really want a dog. Like I’m not kidding guys, I really want one. Enough so that stuffed animals have become appealing to me in large ways.

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That nose freckle is shining bright..

I have this emptiness (which I think is a want for a romantic relationship…) that I need to fill with something and as much as I love my new Chester, this void is still burning deeper, but I suppose that is not in my control either. There is a time and a place for being single, growing and self-loving. I have done that. Why is it that when you are finally feeling confident in yourself and what you deserve AND you are ready and wanting to give yourself and your love to someone else that there is nothing to be found?

Le sigh. I digress…

Guess it also doesn’t help my mood that my stomach is being a terror with my exams…despite said feelings of nothingness. What else is new. Are you almost healed yet…?

To conclude I just want to say that no I’m not sad or anything like that, I’m a very happy person, these are just some thoughts rolling through my forever active mind and I think I’m simply suppressing feelings at the moment. Please don’t think I’m depressed or anything as that is far from true. 

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How do you respond to major life changes?

Do you feel ready to take on the world after your education?

Thanks to Amanda and her link-up party for my thoughts to dance in.

Thinking-Out-Loud-2

-Chelsea


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Doubt Stalls Progress

My friends, so I welcomed myself back yesterday, and now I’m bringing you my first lil video. Nothing informational or science based, just something I have been dealing with as of late and some tips that hopefully you can use and I can follow through with myself.

We all go through periods of self doubt. What is important is that we eventually see that there is not reason to doubt ourselves and simply move on.

Self doubt kills progress. It stalls you.

You need to let go of that doubt, realize what an amazing person you are and what skills you bring to the table and continue to moving along whatever path you are going.

I’m not going to be naive and say that this process is easy or instant, but it’s something we all have to do. Look inside yourself, realize what you bring to the table, how far you have come and be proud to share that with whoever or whatever is standing at the end of your pathway.

Always always always remember you are enough. More than enough! You are the best person you can be and have a lot of offer. Never let anything or anyone stop you from reaching your goals.

Self doubt is not fact, it’s a fictional story made up by you and allowed to live until you shut it down.

I hope you enjoy, and check back for more. If you have any topics you want me to chatter live about, let me know in the comments 🙂

What do you do when you are doubting yourself?

-Chelsea


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I’ll Start On Monday…

My new diet starts on Monday

Starting Monday, I will live in the gym

My new body transformation will start on Monday

I will be a better me….

Starting on Monday.

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Happy September 1st friends. New month and this month in particular tends to be associated with the “after-summer fresh new goals” to reach before the new year.

We all see it….Similar to the New Year resolution season, with the return of school comes the new gym go-ers, the new dieters who want to loose all their summer weight plus more by Christmas, and people making plans/goals that surround making a fairly significant change in their life.

This is like a whole month of “I will start on Monday” and unfortunately this mentality often leads to starting changes as of September 1st and ending sometime between September 10th and October 1st. It’s a sad reality, and personally, a mentality that I often just cannot understand.

You see, I am fully supportive of goals. Goals that are something that lead to personal growth and bettering yourself. So yes, goals are great. What I don’t understand is why self-improvement has to be seen as a punishment or something to be delayed to a later date. In this case, after the weekend.

Why wait to better yourself?

I ask myself this question often when someone says that famous phrase to me…

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Here’s how I see it…

1. Your goal is unrealistic

2. Your goal is seen as a punishment

3. Its just not a priority enough

Either way, the chances of them lasting is slim to none. Take the gym as an example, we all dread the gym being packed, but always know that the stampede will clear in a few short weeks.

This is awful to admit because it’s great that people want to become more fit and I welcome those who want to improve upon their health and become stronger versions of themselves, but this is really just observation at it’s finest. 

So lets look at the first point. Your goal will NOT be reached if you are looking at something as an “all of nothing” type of deal. I will cut X from my diet forever. I will go to the gym 2 hours a day, EVERYDAY, I will live off of salad…etc, etc. These are NOT realistic or attainable for anyone nor should they be thought to be required for bettering your health. These overly loafty goals are often pushed to Monday because you are wanting to be ‘free’ before you feel that life is going to suck.

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This is why they fail. All-or-nothing goals will never work. Take one thing and change that. Make this a lifestyle by making something manageable.

~I will start by going to the gym 3 times a week

~I will turn out the lights 30 minutes earlier 3 times a week

~I will pack up my own lunch rather then buying out for work/school

So what about #2?

Sometimes people go into making changes because they feel they have to. Got a bad doctors report? The prescription –> get yo ass to the gym and loose 20 pounds. Doctors orders. You may feel the need to do it, but that doesn’t mean you’re gunna like it.

My new life starts on Monday.

Or what about writing that paper you need to get done. You know that sitting down and writing rather then enjoying time with friends sucks, so, push it off until Monday. Not only are you loosing time and probably adding stress to your life (plus loosing sleep), you probably ended up using some of that time doing something mindless because you told yourself you were gunna start later.

Ever done that? You have the time to kill but have already accepted that later start date so you don’t use that spare time effectively?

Instead, do an hour here and there over that weekend in between socializing. That’s not that big of a commitment, you aren’t spending hours in a chair slaving typing away and come Monday, look you have half your paper at least drafted.

When you look at something as a punishment or something that is being forced on you, you won’t want to do it. Nonetheless, how is moving it to a later date making it anything less then what you currently perceive it as? Punishment derived goals also fail because you have set your mind up that you hate this thing and that it is required of you to do. There is no internal driving force for you to want to do it.

Time to change your mindset.

Something may suck but turn it around to something positive. Need to change your lifestyle due to health issues? Make it a challenge to yourself in some way or take it upon yourself to try something new that you may end up loving. Find a recipe that you love and make it more nutrient dense. Work your way up to doing some race or lifting a certain weight. Don’t focus on the required target as if it is something ‘forced on you’ because that will just breed negativity. Instead, tell yourself that this is for you and make it something you want to do for yourself.

The last one is one that really hits most people hard. A certain goal or challenge may be a great learning opportunity or something that would really benefit a person but they just don’t do it.

Why wouldn’t they want to do something that simply makes them a better version of themselves?

It’s not a priority. 

Yeah it may be great and all but it’s not important enough to them to make that change. That is a sad reality, but often times this is common and people miss out on a lot of great things and chances.

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So, overall I think that goals are great. They are visions. They are about helping to make yourself the best you can be. They fuel you to push and challenge yourself BUT that is only if you do them and take them seriously.

Ask yourself why wait to do something you want. Why hesitate to make yourself better. Want to make a change? DO IT RIGHT NOW!

…Or you may just let the chance slide on away from you and miss out.

It’s simply your choice. 

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Thanks to everyone over at Thinking Out Loud for listening and a big shout out to our lovely hostess Amanda.

Have you every wanted to do something but waited too long to do it?

-Chelsea