We see those huge, beautiful trees as something so strong. Something so proud. Something so rooted in its place in this earth.
Trees not only provide us with the breathes of life, but they also provide support for the many ecosystems that surround them.
You know what though?
A tree wouldn’t be able to serve those purposes if it wasn’t for the aid of the system around it.
It wouldn’t be around without the pollinators that spread those very seeds that brought it to life.
It wouldn’t be alive still without the microorganisms that break down organic materials to give it nourishment.
So if something that is the picture of strength and wisdom needs support to be able to keep thriving, why is it that when we ask for help we perceive ourselves as being weak?
Everyone needs support, whatever magnitude that may be. Asking for help NEVER signifies that you are incapable. Never says to others that you are a failure.
Sometimes, asking for help can make you one of the strongest people out there.
So you may be asking yourself why the hell I’m rambling on about this. It’s pretty random.
Well I am random….
I’m also randomly bringing this up because it’s something that I have had to come to accept throughout my recovery process.
I never used to like asking for help. I’m an internalizer and so I tend to keep my thoughts, worries, conflicts, etc to myself because I feel like they were my own issues to deal with
Why burden someone else with my problems if ….
…they only affect me…
The problem with that statement is two fold.
For one, I have associated negativity with the love, comfort and support that another person can give to me. Basically, I felt as if providing me with support was some sort of favour they were doing for me or that they felt pity on me so they would do it not because they wanted to, but because they felt compelled to.
I have come to realize that this is not true. People don’t want to see you struggle. I have this urge in my self to speak up and help others if I feel I can in any way. I think sometimes I should refrain as I may be overstepping my boundaries, but the point is that we don’t like to see others hurt or stuck in a state of confusion if they don’t have to be.
The second issue is that second part. “It only affects me.” This is far from the truth because if you are struggling, the chances are that it will negatively impact anything further you try to do because you are occupied. You’re stuck either dwelling on something, hurting or just not knowing what move to make next. This inevitably affects not only you but anything else you try to do and anyone else you try to interact with.
So what does all of of this have to do with recovery?
I think that this is an important lesson for everyone to learn, regardless of their struggles in life…
You must learn and accept that one has be vulnerable in order to grow as a person.
But this vulnerability becomes even more important during recovery as you have to come to the realization that sometimes you’re just too tired to keep fighting and it’s in those moments where ED feels that he can creep back in a take you back.
It is in those instances where you need to ask yourself…
Does strength mean risking my recovery because I should be able to continue to fight when I’m completely mentally exhausted?
Does strength mean admitting to someone else that you are having a rough time and just need a lil bit of support so that you can re-charge and blast forward once again?
I know what my answer would be, what is yours?
Linking up once again to Julia’s…
Thank you so much to Julia for hosting such a positive and helpful resource partaay.
Have a great start to your week friends!
When was the last time you asked for support? this weekend when I
ranted on discussed my struggles this week with body image with my Mom.
Who is your go-to? My Mom ❤