I wanted to join into a new link up party hosted by the lovely Julia over at Lord Still Loves Me because I love the message that she is trying to put forth.
The idea that Eating Disorders are nothing to be ashamed of.
They are nothing we should be afraid to talk about or embarrassed to admit that they have impacted our lives in any way, shape or form.
The truth is that they are an event. A horrible event mind you, but a point in our lives that challenged us.
This challenge though made us into who were are today, which is a person who is stronger and a person who hopefully sees and experiences life in a much more positive way because they have had some demons to face and squash.
So with that, here is my first entry into the link up party…
Thanks to Julia for starting it up and letting it be a safe space for all to share about their experiences that can include anything from triumphs, to challenges, to fears to breakthroughs.
Much love to everyone who joined into the party and to everyone reading these posts ❤
This morning I broke a rule….
I broke a rule that ED had told me to never break.
Under the requirements of my nutrition increase, my coach added a whole tbsp and a half of extra nut butter to my breakfast on my training days.
A TABLESPOON AND A HALF.
Take that as you will, but for me this was a very scary thing despite loving all things nut butter.
I preach that fats are good for you (because they are!). I preach that everyone needs fats (which you do!) and that you shouldn’t be afraid of the ol’ saying:
Fat makes you fat.
Because it’s not true.
But I myself still struggle with how much I take in as well to be completely honest.
Not only did I have to deal with the very large increase (in my mind) but I also had to get past that pesky rule that holds me back…
You are allowed 2 tbsp tops on any given day..
Of course, less is always better because I can’t have you enjoying yourself too much…ED says with pleasure.
Do I know where this rule originated from?
I know that one serving of nut butter is set as 2 tbsp but I don’t know how that got attached to a daily serving in my head.
Either way, it was (and will continue to be for now on) something I had to tackle this morning.
Info Tidbit: I have 1 tbsp + 1tsp in my ‘midnight snack’ every night and generally only 1/2 a tbsp in my oats in the morning. So jumping to 2tbsp in my oats alone is quite a leap for me.
I had to be strong enough to break that rule
Even if it meant mixing in the extra (which I NEVER DO because I like to eat it last) to hide it from myself, I had to try to get past it.
If I’m being completely honest once again, I only managed to add half more of what I was required to this morning but I have to cheer for myself for the fact that I still broke that rule and did make baby steps into conquering that fear.
Tomorrow is a new morning and I’m determined to take on the full amount.
Recovery isn’t about being perfect. Recovery is like a pond of stepping stones. The distance between the stones may be different (i.e. the challenges we face may be more or less tough mentally and physically) which means that getting from one stone to the next may take more or less time BUT with each leap of faith, we are one step further into a place of freedom and happiness.
….One tbsp of nut butter at a time….
Thanks for all of your continued support and love my family
Eating disorder related or not (as I hope many of your don’t go through one!), what is one rule you want to be able to break or one that you have broken (yay you!)?