Lil Miss Fitness Freak

"And though she be but little, she is fierce"

I’m Alive! Did Ya Miss Me?

44 Comments

My Friends, My Friends!

Oh how I have missed you all! I hope you are all still with me, but as I took a mini hiatus over the last month of the summer, I can understand if you gave up on me…

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I feel the need to say sorry for taking my lil break from the blog world, but I was just spending the time with my friends and family, while also working and getting my house prepped (ugh moving sucks eh?) before I moved in during the second weekend of September.

I actually think I really needed the time to just be at home, not be working 24/7 (I worked a few full shifts a week at an old job as a chef. Thanks again to Mark for squeezing my lil tushie into your kitchen once again) and reflecting a bit on myself and my health.

For this first post back on this lovely Tuesday, I thought I would give a brief lil recap and some thoughts of this summa in general.

Overall, as I mentioned, I think I really needed this summer to be home. I really enjoyed being able to spend the time at home with my parents and Maggie..

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I loved being able to watch her do her favourite things like dunking herself in a grocery bucket filled with water in the backyard when it got too hot and bobbin for her toys like they were apples.

I loved being able to take her for walks and see how distracted this young, ‘forever puppy’ can get. Chasing leaves if they moved. Trying to eat butterflies. She’s quite a child and very different from my previous poodle, Lacey.

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She’s a great mix between diva and tomboy.

I got to spend more time seeing my friends and keeping updated with their lives the way I haven’t been able to do when I was working full time previous summers.

I still baked. Whether it was the end of the summer peach pie baking with my Mom (with the last of the farmer’s market in season peaches!)…

That pie in the back got a lovely lattice top that my Mom created and was stuffed in the freezer to be kept for Thanksgiving. the crisp in the front was for my Mom and Dad to nosh on those next few nights.

That pie in the back got a lovely lattice top that my Mom created and was stuffed in the freezer to be kept for Thanksgiving. the crisp in the front was for my Mom and Dad to nosh on those next few nights.

Or baking for the trainers at Goodlife..

Salted Caramel pronuts. No sugar, high protein and filled and glazed with a vegan homemade

Salted Caramel pronuts. No sugar, high protein and filled and glazed with a vegan homemade “caramel”

High protein goodies anyone?

Peanut Butter and Banana bundt protein flowers with that vegan caramel spread into the petals.

Peanut Butter and Banana bundt protein flowers with that vegan caramel spread into the petals.

They were very much enjoyed…and fought over apparently…

My Ice Cream A Week challenge continued all through the summer and I have to say that I’m quite proud I continued to keep it up despite still having that guilt.

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Out of all of my times I went, I managed to find my favourite ice cream place…

Click the picture to take you to their site. Open at your own risk ;-)

Click the picture to take you to their site. Open at your own risk 😉

Best Salted Caramel ice cream I had all summer! All ice creams, sorbets, gelato’s and sorbets made in house! Yes they had everything your heart could desire.

I will say that I became quite the ice cream snob and despite my Baskin Robbins being good and serving it’s purpose, homemade really began to strike my fancy.

Also tried the local Ontario goodness as well and that was damn good too.

My fav but I haven't gotten the ability to try out more. the creme brûlée rocked my world as well but that one you cannot buy :-(

My fav but I haven’t gotten the ability to try out more. the creme brûlée rocked my world as well but that one you cannot buy 😦

My Mom and I finally got to go to Ripley’s Aquarium in Toronto!

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It was so cool! Despite being run over by a bazillion strollers (who takes a baby to an aquarium…like they will remember anything..) it was a great time.

Oh and don’t be like me and buy Timmies right before you walk into the place as they make you throw it out 😦

#DontComeBetweenMeAndMyTea

I loved being able to soak up as much of that beautiful weather we got this summer as possible..

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Sunshine is my favourite. It’s where I’m meant to be.

I got to meet Nicole Wilkins at the Toronto Pro Show sponsored by GNC in Toronto!

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I wrote a whole post about this event but she is such a sweetheart in person and so inspirational to say the least.

#DemQuads…

I thoroughly enjoyed eating as much lobster as my lil heart desired as not only did we have LobsterFest at work (work perks..), but I also found frozen cooked lobster at my parents local grocery store…

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Drooool.

Now all of this was fine and dandy but there have been some reflections as well. Specifically with my health, both physically and mentally. Let me explain:

  • I have still been unsuccessful at putting on the weight I lost due to food poisoning and my colonoscopy despite trying to increase my food.
  • I have become aware that I really need to push myself to eat more despite really fearing being full if I want to push forward.
  • I truly know I need to gain and I DO see myself as I truly am. When I was sick at 16 I didn’t see myself as the thin, emaciated person I was but at the weight I am now my mind is still rational enough that I do see the thinness and I don’t like what I see. Too thin and I want to grow.
  • I know I say and do two different things at the moment and I’m not proud of it. I want so badly to just eat more to grow but that fear sometimes makes it easier to just stay as I am. I need to pool my strength to overcome that and just dive in head first and let go.
  • OCD tendencies are showing up and they are an additional hurdle I have to face now. These are strange things that I haven’t faced before but it’s obvious that they are a result of not feeling in control of something in my life (ie. my weight and health). I have determined that it’s time to reach out for help and I’m currently waiting to see a psychiatrist to see if they can help me knock out some of these fears and OCD things that have shown up over the summer.
  • As for my GI issues, the colonoscopy came back clean but because I had a positive test result for another part I was tested on, he wants to take an MRI of my small bowel to make sure there aren’t any disorders causing inflammation. Oh the journey of zee stomach continues. At least it’s not as bad as when I started out due to me taking some steps to change my diet slightly.

Okay now that all that heavy stuff is out in the open (just keeping things real with you all, I still have my struggles)…

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What am I doing now that I’m back in Guelph?

I’m doing what I do best…

Gymin…

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Farmer’s marketing with my housies..

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…and eating delicious creations from said rendezvous…

That crispy crispy sear. Best job I have ever done and take a look at those beauties straight from Nova Scotia.

That crispy crispy sear. Best job I have ever done and take a look at those beauties straight from Nova Scotia.

Classin it up with a pretty decent looking schedule if I do say so myself. Hello third year.

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Making Oats In A Jar for my housies…

Oats for Emily :-D

Oats for Emily 😀

And even doing some more writing of the article variety…

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I got the exciting and very fortunate opportunity to help out the dietician (and I will call her a friend as well!) I was working with, who happen to work at the Guelph University Clinic, as a volunteer writing next months nutrition article for the newsletter and I’m quite pumped to see it go live online. I am starting as a volunteer with the HPC just this fall with a few small jobs here and there (as I’m not full time) but I’m looking forward to it.

Big Shout Out to Gabrielle 😀

And a final “Doin Me” thing is that I’m actively trying to work on myself. Not only physically but mentally. To keep these challenges up. To keep trying to talk back negativity and OCD thoughts because if I don’t try to push through them, then they will overtake me and that is not a good time thats for sure. Sometimes it’s really tiring to fight, but I always have to keep in mind that if I let up just a bit it will be that much harder to come back and, to be completely honest, I’m annoyed that its been a bit of a struggle and that these thoughts are here but recovery is no picnic and this is a solid reminder that I need to always keep my guard up.

So heres to a happy, fulfilling and FUN new year and I hope you are all ready for it.

frabz-THIS-MUCH-LOVE-1f4c7e

-Chelsea

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44 thoughts on “I’m Alive! Did Ya Miss Me?

  1. Oh sweet Chelsea. Thank you for always being so open and honest with us. Trust me you’re helping people

  2. As your friend (and fellow ED recovery sister), I’m telling you this – Eating disorders are awful. Being happy is much better.

    If you’re struggling, even a little, you deserve to get better. And if you’re willing to make the commitment to yourself to leave your eating disorder in the dust, you will make it. There will be stumbles along the way, no doubt, but so long as your end goal is full recovery, there’s no stopping you.

  3. Before I was ready to reach out for help from people in my life, I started on the path to recovery in a small way. The first step was buying a few books that ended up being lifechanging for me. On the top of this list is Jenni Schaefer’s Life Without Ed, which I read in a day. Jenni’s words spoke to me and reading the book made me realize I deserved recovery—as do you.

  4. I bet you’ve heard the quote, “You must have long term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short term failures,” but I doubt you realized it makes a great motto for recovery. That’s because there will be short term “failures” like relapses, slips, temptations, and so on—but they don’t matter if they’re part of forward motion towards a place of recovered bliss.

    It’s easy to beat yourself up if you assume that a slip wipes out all the hard work you’ve done. But beating yourself up is what Ed wants you to do and is the exact opposite of what you should do when you make a boo boo. Mistakes are opportunities to learn, to reassess, and to reaffirm your dedication to recovering. Consider recovery a series of rolling hills (with highs and lows) that gets progressively higher and higher until you get to the top and recovered, and remember that two steps forward and one step back still puts you ahead. Keep on keeping on.

    Please, please, please give yourself the gift of recovery. Though the journey isn’t smooth and I cannot lie and say that getting better is a breeze—I label my own recovery as the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do—I do know that the most rewarding things, the things we need to do the most, are often the most challenging. Getting to a place of recovery gives you your life back. Go get it!

    • You are amazing! Thank you so much for that. Yes recovery is nothing close to a straight line upwards and it is those deviations where you learn how strong you are and your best lessons are learned. These challenges make you who you are and they should be something to give you great pride knowing that although you may have stumbled you didn’t give up. Congrats on your progress and continuing to push forward. You deserve it 🙂 XO

  5. Welcome back !!!!! I’ll admit, I stalked your blog almost daily waiting for a new post and you didn’t disappoint!

  6. Great post, Chelsea!!! I am a long-time reader and feel that my life has progressed much like yours.To me, healthy living is happy living. Filing my life with things that make me feel good, are positive and add to my life is my focus. Blogging is such a great way to look back and see all that we have learned and how we have changed and grown. Love your blog because you are you.

    • You hit the nail right on the head with one the fact that happy living is healthy living and 2 that I will definitely look back on my journey in the future and hope that others can benefit from it in some way shape or form.

  7. 🙂 I’ve been following since the beginning and love the direction the blog has taken over the years (months?). I love just how honest you are!

  8. I love that you are real and share the when you decide to indulge …or even struggle! I read some of the other blogs and feel like I am a failure if I have something that is not clean or organic! I like that you are striving to create a nice balance in your life between work and fun! I, too, live healthy but decide on some wine and treats here and there and I think that’s ok-finding your blog help me realize that it is about balance! Keep blogging your healthy lifestyle and recovery journey b/c you are one of the 2-3 that I continuously revisit!

    • Thanks so much for all of your love and support. I truly means a lot. For sure I still have to fight back those negative thoughts and although the guilt still remains I’m trying to be stronger then those words because we all deserve balance. Life isn’t about regretting a bowl of ice cream or a glass of wine.

  9. Chelsea, I loved this post so much and can relate in so many ways! I have been reading your blog for months and months and it was one that encouraged me to get healthy. I have always appreciated your honesty and you are a breath of fresh air! I too fell into the trap of feeling like I need to be perceived in a certain way Please know that even if I am not a regular commenter, I am still a regular reader and I enjoy your updates! 🙂

  10. Thank you for this post – you hit on so many aspects of life that we all struggle with so much, regardless of blogging. It is so nice to see a real person, who has everyday struggles and obstacles, behind a “healthy living blog”. Keep doing what you’re doing ❤

  11. Your blog is refreshing, sincere, and in my eyes healthy. Be true to yourself and you will be healthy!!!!

  12. Such a great post. Thanks for sharing so honestly. I love that you know what works for you and I think showing the healthy living looks different for everyone is so important.

  13. Great post. Not to sound creepy (I think I’m one of the few male readers) but yours is probably the blog I look forward to reading the most because you’re so real. I don’t need to read other people’s workouts or everything they ate because I feel fine doing my own thing in those areas- Whatever your blog is, I love it so you’re doing something right.

  14. Chelsea! I have been reading your blog for quite some time now and I actually appreciate how it has evolved as you have grown! Happy = healthy and healthy = happy. You seem pretty darn happy these days (:

  15. ’ve been with you since the beginning and will continue to read your blog for as long as it’s up and you’re posting! You’re truly an amazing woman and I admire you for pouring your heart out to us this morning. It was so inspirational. We all love you Chelsea!

  16. Fabulous post. I started reading a lot of healthy living blogs a few years ago but yours has remained one of my favorites. I was/am recovering from disordered eating and remember thinking at the time: is this what recovery looks like? Does it mean that I have to workout all the time and restrict my eating/watch everything that I put in my mouth if I want my weight to be stable? I’m so glad a few bloggers have now come to their senses and admitted they weren’t “really” healthy because even if it’s not done on purpose, blogs are models to other people and they encourage similar behaviors, positive or not.

    I am still looking for my definition of healthy but i’ve sure come a long way since the deep dark days of my ED and you’ve certainly helped and for that I am grateful!

    • I’m so happy to hear that you have moved forward in your recovery. Keep going! Yes there tends to be a haze over many of the ‘healthy living’ blogs and I think it’s always best to be honest because that is really going to help others and yourself! Thanks for sticking around the blog, it means a lot and I hope I can continue to help you in any way 🙂

  17. What a great post Chelsea! This is the kind of stuff you don’t hear people talking about and it’s so refreshing! (as are most of your posts so keep it up!) I love the balance you’ve created with your life and it’s inspiring so I’m going to keep reading no matter what stage you are at. I am SO SO SO glad you’re seeking professional help.
    xoxox

    • Thank you so much for the support and the love. I’m glad you enjoy these styles of posts as I always want to be real with everyone. I’m not trying to paint a picture with my blog, I’m showcasing a reality 🙂

  18. It is so refreshing to see this post. I don’t think there is a unique definition of healthy, as we should strive to be happy. I’ve been reading your blog for a few years and I’ve always loved your honesty. As long as you are enjoying life that is what matters. I come from a restrictive eating and excesive workouts as well and I understand everything… Cheers to being happy, and when you are happy you are healthy

  19. Great post. Very real and relatable! I’ve been reading this blog for awhile now and it has definitely grown to be one of my favorites. It’s absolutely one I look forward to reading every day! Thanks for writing and sharing 🙂

  20. This blog post is the reason I choose to read your blog. This blog is real – real life – no gimmicks. Thank you for being you

  21. Thank you for this post! I have been waiting a long time to read something like this. It was everything I needed to hear and you really hit the nail on the head! Thank you for always being so real and always sharing that with us:)

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