Lil Miss Fitness Freak

"And though she be but little, she is fierce"

What’s Up My Beauties?

37 Comments

I have officially been disturbed. A stat that was mentioned by my prof in my night class the tonight really just got my panties in a twist. I even ranted about it on facebook

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It just really stuck with me. I felt angry. Sad. Guilty. Confused. How could a few words stir up so many different emotions?

I was angry because we have all contributed to a society that makes everyone feel like they are unattractive or that they don’t measure up to what we all think is beautiful.

Sad because I can’t bear the thought of a little girl, so precious and innocent, telling me point blank that she is not beautiful. What’s worse is that it made me wonder if they can even fully grasp what the word beautiful means. So really, before they can even fully understand the concept, society is pre-programming their definition with toxic lies. Beauty is skin deep. Beauty is thinness. Beauty is flawlessness. Perfection. If you don’t look like the cover models or celebrities, you are not beautiful. You will never measure up. That is what makes me sad. This is the definition every child will come to understand.

Guilty?

Have I contributed to any of this? Of course I have! I’m part of our society so I have also contributed to this toxic environment. Whether it is the last time I body shammed my body or said “I wish I could wear that, but it wouldn’t look good on my frame,” I have contributed to the spreading of this problem. The problem that beauty is skin deep.

Confused. What has led to this getting so bad? When did it start. Can we reverse it? Are we too late? Is it even possible to reverse?

This topic is really upsetting to me and I was reminded today that I too fall victim to it while also subconsciously contributing it. If I was asked if I believed I was beautiful, hesitation follows. It’s a sad realization when you can’t tell your own self that you believe you are beautiful because of all of the flaws that flood your mind when you are trying to decide on your answer.

Am I wrong?

Sadly, we are a society that not only spreads fake images of beauty (ie. cover models that are tweaked, blurred, molded, stretched, etc to make this picture perfect image that is no longer a real person) and are thus focused on appearance rather than inner qualities, but we are also one that is innately revolved around our flaws rather than our positives. So technically, the making of a negative self image is two fold.

So what can we do?

Life-Wise-Meaningful-Inspirational-Inspiring-Motivational-Quotes

Well, it’s irrational to think that we can just avoid being influenced by the media and the words of others, as they are everywhere. Whether they are subconscious or conscious, they are everywhere and, really, unavoidable. It’s also unrealistic to promise that you will never say anything negative ever again. All you can do here is say you will work at it.

So instead, help yourself out and try really hard to work up some positives about yourself. These can help to buffer your esteem against the blows of the socitey, whether you think they are affecting you or not. These positives can really be anything, and yes, this does include those about appearance. Although the world doesn’t revolve around appearance, we can’t say that our image means nothing to us, so make sure to include those in your list of positives too.

Despite being in class and taking notes while also working on another assignment during said class…

I’m linking up with Amanda over at Spoons for Thinking Out Loud because I just had to get that off my chest.

Thinking-Out-Loud

Goodnight my lovelies. Do me a favour

Tell me three things you find beautiful about yourself.

While you’re at it…

Lets add in some healthy body love too…

Gimme 3 things you find beautiful about your body.

I will start.

I find my empathy beautiful. I love being able have the ability to really feel for something and the situation they are in.

My strength. Not only being physically strong, but the strength that has come from working through the barriers and challenges that life throws my way. I have survived and I’m stronger and more confident because of it.

My passion. When I love something, you can tell.

Alrighty body, you don’t hear enough love, so soak it up…

My smile. I have been told it lights up my whole face. A smile that shows joy is truly beautiful.

My nose. It’s little just like the rest of me and it has a cute lil freckle on it that’s big enough that everyone can see it.

My dimples. You lil holes on my face, you always show my happiness and happiness is a beautiful and contagious thing.

Your turn. Let me hear them.

-Chelsea

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37 thoughts on “What’s Up My Beauties?

  1. Amen to all of the above! I totally hear you on this one, and it’s something I need to remind myself of a lot as well. For me, regular workouts, alone time, and creative time (whether that means cooking, writing, or chopping up magazines and making vision boards) help me de-stress and relax. Meditation is something I’ve been trying to get back into the habit of this month, but I think what is “meditative” is different to each individual. I’ve found that trying to practice really deep breaths in the car to and from work has been quite relaxing, and it takes my focus away from the annoyingness of stop-and-go traffic!

  2. Awesome post! 🙂 I really want to start loving my thighs. I mean that is where all my weight goes, and they may be covered in cellulite but without them I wouldn’t be able to walk and squat and run to hug those I love

  3. I love this because I think with busy schedules it is so easy to forget this. Thanks for the reminder Chelsea 🙂 You’re beautiful inside and out

  4. Even though there are some parts of my body I don’t exactly love, I don’t want those young girls i love like my baby cousins to know the difference. . At the same time, I think as a woman there are always little things we would love to change if we could. If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you’re probably aware of the fact that I don’t love my nose. I call it my “honker” and hinted at my boyfriend to let me get rhinoplasty for years. After being repeatedly shot down because my nose makes me me, I’ve given it a rest. And now, the thought of someone taking a hammer to my face scares the bejeezus out of me. Despite the little things I would physically change, over time I’ve become more accepting and loving of my body. I think part of this comes from being older and more confident with time (I used to be really, really insecure. Having a verbally abusive person in your life will do that to you), and the other part is from having another human to take care of and realizing where true priorities lie.

  5. The funny thing is that back in the day, when I was my own harshest critic, I looked pretty much the same as I do now (save for a few new undereye bags). I’ll look back at pictures from a time when I was working to change so many things and think, “Wow. You wasted a lot of brain space worrying about nothing.”

  6. As women, I think body shaming can be a bonding thing (which is also very WTF). It can also be another way for women to compare themselves against each other. Women looooove comparing themselves to other women… and it’s stupid. Sure, comparison can be motivation and encourage you to make positive changes, but it can also be demeaning. It’s important to remember that everyone’s situation is unique. You never know what battles someone else is facing.

  7. great post. This is a huge topic, but I would love to hear any of your musings or experiences with body shaming (how you stopped, or how you’re going to stop),

  8. We truly are our own worst critic and I think it’s crucial to be aware of it and use it to focus on positive growth (not body bashing).

  9. What a beautiful and insightful post. I believe that body shaming is just a way for us to keep ourselves small. We focus upon our bodies, which are going to change, get old and eventually fall away anyway, instead of focusing on how we can full and nurture ourselves and others to make this world a better place. You do not have to be small, or have a perfect body to be amazing. Look at Oprah, she is one of the most influential women in the world, and she has been over weight for almost her entire professional career. It does not matter. Value comes from what you believe in your heart. I believe when we start to give ourselves permission not to be small, to stand in our power, we will never again feel the need to shame our bodies. When we open our hearts to fully loving and accepting ourselves, our bodies included, we can do so in a much more powerful way towards others. When you know that you are beautiful, always, you will see how beautiful everyone else is always, and you will have changed the world for the better in just that simple act.

  10. I body shame on a very regular basis and it’s hard for me to believe my friends and family when they tell me that I’m beautiful and perfect the way I am. In fact, I’d rather not hear them say that because I’d rather not talk about my appearance. I’d rather not bring attention to my body. As I look in the mirror while I’m brushing my teeth I notice if my face is looking pudgy. When I change in the morning and at night my eyes immediately shift to my belly. My belly that I hate that I don’t believe will ever be what I want it to be. I’m not 5 foot 7 120lbs and just think that I’m fat. I’m 5 foot 3 and probably around 145-150lbs. I’m actually the fittest I’ve ever been, as some of these pounds are definitely muscle. However, none of that matters. I really try to accept that this is my body but sometimes that feels like I’m giving up on trying to get fit and slim. I am absolutely the first person to tell a girlfriend to be happy with the body she has, and I mean it when I tell her that. It’s frustrating that I can’t believe the same thing about myself.

    Phew! Getting that house was a huge relief! Sometimes I feel like I bogart my loving bestfriend with these concerns, and while I know he’ll listen, it’s easier to keep it in. Bless this blog for giving us all an outlet.

  11. I had body dysmorphic disorder throughout High School and was diagnosed and received therapy in college. It was very hard to cope with being, what I thought, was fat. In reality I was a perfectly healthy teenage girl. My mom also made comments about what I ate and how I looked that weren’t always encouraging or positive, which really affected our relationship.
    Looking back on old photos I WISH I still had that body that I so despised. Now I really am overweight and struggling with feeling attractive. I didn’t print off my wedding photos until a year after we had gotten married because I hated the way I looked.
    My husband has been so loving and supportive with my efforts to lose weight and become healthier. Thankfully, he has also been building my self esteem by telling me he loves me no matter how I look. Being healthy for us to start a family is my goal and even with the stretch marks and the extra weight, knowing my husband thinks I’m beautiful has made me start to feel beautiful.

  12. We are our own worst critics. I stopped the body shaming when I accomplished some major health and fitness goals and realized I was doing the best I could with what I have. I can’t change the shape or size of my bones and features but I am at my fittest and healthiest ever. I refused to compare my body image to others because I will never be anyone but me. I might as well make the darn best of it 😉

  13. This is a lovely post, and I think it is an important topic for women, especially for mothers of young girls. I’m not a mother yet, but I’ve thought a lot about how I will try to raise a confident child. My mother sent me a lot of mixed messages about body image, and I was really insecure for a long time, struggling with bulimia for several years. I’ve been recovering for a long time now, and my main focus in terms of health is building a strong body image.

    I read something the other day that really resonated with me: in today’s society, a woman’s worth is tied up with the way she looks: the more beautiful she is, the more “worthy” she is, of attention, success, love, friendship, etc. So why don’t we teach our daughters that their worth has absolutely nothing to do with their looks? Sure, beauty is a nice gift, but it should not define us or our value. I do think that the “every woman is beautiful” movement (the Dove ads, operation beautiful, etc) has merit and can really help some struggling women, but it also underscores just how important beauty is in our society, and how much being beautiful is important to society’s definition of a proper woman.

    It is a complicated issue! And these are just musings and in no way a criticism of you – i think you have a healthy approach to your a body image

  14. This post is very relatable for me at this time in my life. I have always had a negative self-image and feel like I have been working to improve that over the last few years. I also have a daughter who is 16 months and I never want her to grow up feeling that way about herself. From experience I know how a mother’s attitude about herself gets passed down to her daughter. It is extremely important to me to not perpetuate that with my daughter. I hope to raise her to be a happy and confident young girl and I understand that a lot of that starts with my own feelings toward myself. Pregnancy definitely did a number, but I continue to be more and more accepting of myself. It’s surprising to me that you feel negativity towards your self-image. You seem so confident, but I guess everyone has their things that bother them even if nobody else sees it. Thanks for this post 🙂

  15. thank you for this wonderful and well-written post. i used to be guilty of participating in body shaming (and i still do sometimes, as well). after dealing with disordered eating, it’s been a struggle to do so, but i am learning to love my body, despite its flaws. i am so happy that you’re in a better place now and that you’ll be a positive and healthy role model

  16. This is the second body image (related) post I’ve seen in the blogger community today. And this was a great one! I definitely do the same. I know for a fact I don’t see my body the way others do. I feel heavy one day and someone tells me I look thinner. Well, HELLO! thanks! haha. But I believe in the Bible and one verse says that we are made in His image (Genesis 1:27) and another says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 149:14). It’s a struggle of mine (as it is for MANY women!) but I work every day by trying to think that it is health and the respect of my body that is most important!

  17. I am not a mother, but I love this post and the message you are sending. I grew up with a mother that never once talked about her weight, dieting or negative body issues with or around me. Granted, my mother is naturally thin; however, I know there were things she didn’t like about her body and were probably times when she was trying to lose a little extra weight. But her refusal, and yes, it was a conscious effort on her part to not discuss these things around me, taught me to not focus on my body and weight. I’m not going to claim that I haven’t participated in body shaming, that I love everything about my body/weight or that I don’t diet from time to time, but I do understand that my whole life shouldn’t revolve around this and that my body/weight doesn’t define me. When and if I ever have a daughter, I will follow my mother’s same philosophy with her.

  18. I love this post, chelsea

  19. This post really resinates with me. I’ve had body image issues for years, mostly due to being overweight as a kid. Btw, I like your nose 🙂

  20. I couldn’t agree more with the statement, “Love your body for what it can, not how it looks.” I have spent years struggling with my body image and making it weak. Now I spend my time making it stronger and I’ve never been happier! Thank you for this and my “thunder thighs” are my favorite part of my body now…because of what they can do!!

  21. ! I experience a lot if self-loathing/ body shaming on a daily basis and am constantly comparing myself to other women–I.e. their flat stomachs, their thigh gaps, etc.. I think a lot of it stems from the fact that as a teenager in high school I was very overweight and was bullied, judged, and left out of many things because of it. For instance, I also danced, and tried out numerous times for the dance team but never made–(even though I was just as good as the other girls)–but I was too chubby or not tall enough or willowy and blonde enough.
    When I lost all the weight in college, and got to a healthier weight I felt better in my own skin and people told me I looked good, but the scars from my past were still there. And I carry them around with me.
    PS: I love these honest type posts and look forward to reading more. You bring up really good points.

  22. I still have a lot of issues with body shaming and negative body image and truly hope that one day they will stop…but unfortunately I’m not optimistic. I remember having poor images of certain parts of my body since I was in middle school and it’s only grown worse. Your story lit a little spark in me and I truly hope that I can overcome it as you have. Thank you for sharing, I know it’s hard.

  23. I love this post! I think more women need to be conscious of how they think about their body is being picked up by their daughters. My boyfriend’s sister has 2 kids, and constantly wants to lose weight. Her 6 year old recently told her she didn’t want to get older because then “she’d be fat like grandma”. It breaks my heart to hear that story!

    I certainly don’t know the answer to not making children feel that way. But I do think that growing up with a strong, healthy women such as yourself is going to be a great foundation!

  24. I have three nephews and I have been dealing with an eating disorder for 13 years. My oldest nephew is husky and I literally have to bite my tounge. He LOVES food and I hate it.

  25. Beautiful post. Sometimes even the most secure woman needs a reminder to love herself!

  26. I vividly remember many times the adults in my like would contribute to my body shaming. I stress ate when my parents divorced, and then was shipped off to live with my aunt while my parents divorced, and I and remember when I was 11 my aunt took my shopping and let me try on a cute outfit on clearance. It was pretty, but way too small, and I knew it, but my aunt flatly said “I’m getting it for you, but you’ll just have to lose 5 pounds”. She would also yell at me or smack me when I exercised, and also belittle me when I didn’t want to eat more courses (because heaven forbid I sit quietly while she finished her many drinks) or finished the oversized adult portions on my plate. It was a lose-lose. Its taken me more than 20 years to be comfortable in my skin.

  27. hanks for posting this! Beautifully written. It is always such a good reminder to appreciate your body and to be thankful for what it can do 🙂 Now that I am older I realize how my childhood has affected the way I think of food, but your blog has really helped open my eyes to think of food as a way of fueling my body (Not what food has the least amount of calories).

    Its very inspirationa

  28. Well said and beautifully written…as always. 🙂 I totally hear you and I try my absolute hardest not to talk badly about my body. To myself or to others. I work hard to be healthy (and in full disclosure…to look the way that I do), but like you, there are a few things I don’t always love or would change if I could. BUT…like you said the little things that we usually beat ourselves up over and those things are just so not important!

  29. You know you always are so strong and confident it wouldn’t even dawn on me you would have body shaming moments…even knowing all or most women have them.

  30. feel like I’ve missed out on a lot of great experiences and memories due to being self conscious. I decided a couple of years ago to get over it. I realized that life was passing by and I was wasting so much time focusing on my body. I got tired of that. I don’t want my body or looks to define me. I’ve FINALLY accepted my body. I know that my thighs will never be extremely thin and my stomach is probably never going to look like it did when I was 18. I’M OK WITH THAT. It’s really not that important in the grand scheme of things. I refuse to miss out on life because of insecurities.

  31. I think it’s easy trap to fall into…when one person says “I hate my arms” you immediately feel like you have to counter with “well, I hate my stomach” or something else. Recently I was with two friends and it was the first time this conversation felt weird to me and I realized I don’t hate anything on my body. It’s taken me a long time to get here and of course I could look more like a supermodel, but I’m me. My tummy is a little soft and I have a large nose–I’m at peace with both.

  32. This post hits home, in a different way for me.

    Growing up my mom used to say things like, “When I was your age I was a lot thinner.” In addition to ‘body shaming’ comments about her own body.

    At the time of course I didn’t realize how negative and honestly messed up this is. In my eyes she always looked great, I didn’t see the problem areas she pointed out to me on her own body. It only made me more self-concious about my own body.

    In High School I started working out at home, in addition to the various activities I was involved in. I dropped ~15lbs which was enough to startle my PE teacher and ask my mom if I was eating. I was, I had just added in more workouts. Looking back I know I added in extra workouts because I was following my mom’s lead. I was working out to get rid of something she’d commented on. Something that when I look back in photos really didn’t exist.

    Fast forward to college and my now husband made me say ‘Thank you’ every time he gave me a compliment instead of brushing it off or turning it into a negative. It became a habit. Moving away from my mom made me realize how her negative comments about her body and mine affected me. I honestly think she picked it up from my grandmother. Which made me vow to never make my daughter feel that way. I don’t want to continue the cycle.

    I’m still working on changing my way of thinking. It’s amazing how one person can alter your views/thoughts/life with their comments. First my mom then my husband who is slowly helping me reverse the damage. ❤

  33. Awesome post and I could not agree more. I just finished my first year at the University of Alabama and made so many great new friends. Of course, we’ve all put on a few pounds while adjusting and relishing in this exciting point in our lives. Truthfully, it has been and is still really trying year for me. On spring break I hated hearing everyone shame their beautiful and able bodies. And you’re right–it is a total f’d up way for women to bond. I try my hardest to encourage my friends because they are all beautiful and so am I. I love leaving myself notes of encouragement and always try to encourage the people I’m able to reach out to. I think sharing struggles and triumphs helps others who might have perceived you as someone who “has it together” in a new and encouraging light. No one is perfect but everyone is beautiful.

  34. beautifully said…I’m starting to realize too that I’ve wasted so much time in the past (and occasionally still now) worrying about how I look or thinking constantly about ways to change all of those parts I don’t love. It’s not worth it!

  35. I know I commented just a few days ago, but I have been meaning to ask you a question. I follow you on Instagram as well and I always am in awe of your meals. Eating so many vegetables and healthy proteins isn’t cheap. Is cost something you look at? How do you budget for grocery shopping or do you have any tips on saving money on groceries? I’ve been eating home a lot which saves money (except maybe 1-3 times a month), and I look for sales but it is never on much. I also buy frozen veggies. My goal is to eat at least 3 servings of veggies a day

  36. I love this post. I agree with everything you said including those things that make you beautiful.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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