I know, happy weekend to you too eh? I don’t mean to sound insensitive to the deceased (really not trying to I swear!) and I apologize for the dark opening to this post but seriously I’m kinda scarred from seeing a dead body for the first time in my life this afternoon (Saturday). As I made my way down to the Farmers Market I first noticed the crazy number of cop cars and a fire truck blocking an entire strip of Bay Street between Main and King and then I saw him…
….A man crumpled up on the side-ish of the road in front of the new McMaster building being built. As naturally curious creatures, I couldn’t look away (despite being horrified at what I was witnessing) as I was attempting to figure out if what I was seeing was real or not. I actually thought it was a fake person at first, like a dummy or prop investigators might use in a crime scene to try to piece together the sequence of events that took place. Yes, I was actually arguing with my mind whether it was a dummy or a real person. As silly as that sounds, perhaps my mind was trying to avoid the idea that I was actually seeing a deceased individual because, lets be honest, death creates unsettling feelings, but after shaking myself a lil I realized that he was in fact real. I did in fact just see what death looked like and it left me with a feeling that I couldn’t really describe.
You may think I’m over reacting but I really did feel completely off for the rest of the day. Scatterbrain-ish or spacey you could say. No, I’m not suffering with PTSD flashbacks of the persons face or anything, but I’m feeling a mixture of emotions. Shock. Grief. Sadness. Fear. Confusion. Disgust. Don’t take that last one offensively. Humans will innately react to gruesome and unpleasant sights with a cringe. You can’t help it.
I have never witnessed death. **Knock on wood** I have never been to a funeral so this really is new for me (not saying you get desensitized to it ever..) and is something I don’t want to experience if possible (obviously) too frequently. I know that death is part of life but I truly don’t like this unsettled feeling I’m left with.
I’m not trying to sound like it’s all about me, or that I’m complaining or blaming this man for leaving me feeling this way, I’m just trying to explain my feelings. Perhaps I just needed an outlet to do that and, for that, I appreciate you guys for listening. ❤
As of right now, I haven’t found any updated news on how, what or why this happened. Police are still asking for witnesses so we are left in the dark as to how this poor man died. From what I could see, he looked as if he fell from the building as there was practically no blood and his limbs were in a very awkward and bent/broken position under his body. Due to it being Saturday, there was no one working on the McMaster building (nor was he wearing a construction uniform) so he was not an employee. I’m hoping this doesn’t turn into a suicide case but I guess we will have to wait and see.
May he rest in peace.