Lil Miss Fitness Freak

"And though she be but little, she is fierce"

This is my confession….WIAW


Confession memeHey Friends 😀

Usher reference anyone? Anyways, I’m going to kick off this weeks WIAW with a lil confession. Perhaps this is not truly a confession, but rather a call out for support and suggestions on something I have been meaning to start for a while now but have failed to do so out of fear of the unknown.

Confession Time

I have known that I have been too lean for a while now and have not done anything about it.

…Instead, I did what a coward would do and turned a blind eye to the problem and told myself it wouldn’t get any worse and hey, my abs are looking pretty great. Sigh. You see, this is my issue. My past has been less than squeaky clean and well, I’m left with a book some fears and hesitations with making changes to what I know. I have a big problem with change, especially with food and food volume because that is perceived by me as leading me to a body that I don’t want. One that is soft. One that is more jiggly. One that doesn’t have nice, defined abs (yes I have an obsession with my abs…). I try to tell myself that these things are erroneous but I rarely come to believe this. I have come to learn that it’s really tough to talk down your own mind. It’s strong and LOUD! Instead, I continue to do what I’m doing and silently worry and hope that things won’t get out of hand.

So what does this mean for me? Well, I have been pondering the thought of increasing my food for a while, but as I mentioned, I’m scared. Scared that it will lead to me getting fat. Gasp I said it. As irrational as I know that sounds, I still can’t shake that fear. It’s just too big. BUT don’t loose hope in Lil Miss Fitness Freak. No! Despite me sharing all of that with you I can also say with assurance that I also have a drive to get stronger. Build more muscle. Get more defined. Be less ‘flat‘ (fitness buffs you know what I’m talking about->carb depletion). This drive may just be strong enough to yell over that fear voice and help me do what I need to do, which is to eat like I should have been in the first place. To eat like I actually want to grow! This means more calories, and in particular, more carbohydrates as they have been slackin lately especially on my rest days. This battle will be tough and my mind will try to derail my journey by telling me (and by making me perceive) that I’m eating too much, that I’m putting on fat, that I should be ashamed of myself for having carbs late in the day BUT that voice needs to be taught to SHUT UP! I need to be confident that my fears will not come true. That eating more will not make my body turn into this jiggly, non-defined physique that I’m so afraid of but rather it will use that fuel to get stronger and be better able to support my fitness-related goals. Above all of this, I want to be healthy and this is the first step to being healthy in both my body and mind.

Because I know that this journey will come to head with a number of fears of mine, I need a plan. This would ensure that I wouldn’t be doing anything too fast or intense so that I could be confident that I wouldn’t get scared off and just go back to what I was doing. So what is included in my plan of attack?

  • To SLOWLY start increasing my calories until I get to an acceptable number (I do track my macros so I know what I get in a given day). I will work at recalculatng the macronutrients that I will need for my training vs. rest days and try my best to reach them.
  • I started taking BCAAs to try to protect my muscle from being used as fuel for my workouts during this process of increasing my calories.
  • Workouts will be the same…ie. I will still be lifting as heavy as possible to try to help build that muscle!
  • My weekly cheat meals will still be in the plan.
  • My gum addiction will have to be reduced to the minimum as it causes bloating/gas which then makes me less likely to feel hungry.

So overall, I’m hesitant to call this a lean bulk because that suggests to me that I will be bulking my body up despite knowing that this won’t happen. Instead, I will look at this change something I need to do in order maintain my health and to push further the gym. As I mentioned, the extra calories will help fuel my muscles to push harder during my workouts and even more importantly, they will better enable proper repair so I can see those muscles develop further. For inspiration, I have turned to a few very special ladies, which I am currently writing a post about. These women are my fitsporation and have shown me that eating more doesn’t lead to getting fat. Instead, adding more calories to their diets led them to greater muscle growth and, in my opinion, an even better physique. That post will hopefully be up in the next few days. 😀

Okay, now that I have gotten that off my chest, on to some goodies I have been nommin on over the past week. Don’t forget to check out the rest of the party-goers over at Peas and Crayons. Thanks a bunch Mrs. Jen! You rock as a hostess.

Peas and Crayons

So this week I decided to just do a photodump of my favourite noms. This will also include some new variations on my foods for calorie increasing purposes. So shall we begin?

Of course, I cannot do a post without showing you breaky, and in particular, my oatmeal creations, but hey, oatmeal’s a crowd pleaser right? 😉 Feast your eyes on those bowls of deliciousness….and bad presentation and iphone photo quality…cough cough

mmmm I will NEVER get sick of oatmeal! EVER

mmmm I will NEVER get sick of oatmeal! EVER

aaaannnd the money shot

IMG_1373The last bite is always the best as I leave tons of peanut butta, banana and a lil piece or two of my add-in’s for that one bite. YUMMO 😀 Anyone else guilty of this too?

Like I said, oatmeal will never leave my breakfast table. I eat it all year round and, yes, that includes now, when our apartment is reading 87 degrees. Thanks for helpin a lil one out Mr. Fan. 😉 Although, there are a few other favourites of mine that occasionally make the cut when I get my act together. Exhibit A: Thursday’s plate of swoonworthy-ness.

Who doesn't love pancake porn?

Who doesn’t love pancake porn?

Why have I never tried Crystal’s fluffy coconut pancakes? Fail….Sooo good! I followed her recipe to a tee, except I added 1 tsp of psyllium husk (plus a lil extra water for that addition) and vanilla bean powder for some vanilla flavour. I then topped my lil babies with 1/4 cup of plain greek yogurt mixed with more vanilla powder, 4 large melty strawberries and a 1/2 a tbsp of my crunchy peanut butta. Pancake mudslide!

I have also had some savory things I promise…

PicMonkey Collage dinner

Left: roasted kabocha and broccoli, sauteed swiss chard leaves and stems, beets, asparagus, mushrooms and chili flakes, baked basil pesto chicken. Right: roasted kabocha, broccoli, brussels with pesto and chili flake baked steelhead trout

Gotta love carting around your food. Even in containers, my food is still awesome! 😀 Love it! On my off days, not only do a I get a plate but I also may dress up my food a lil bit more

Left: pretty much the same as the chicken picture above, just nicer plating. Right: Big ol' salad with roasted and raw veggies, ACV, chili flakes and a lil balsamic and 5 ounces of steelhead trout baked with my basil pesto and a 1/4 of an ounce of crushed walnuts.

Left: pretty much the same as the chicken picture above, just nicer plating. Right: Big ol’ salad with roasted and raw veggies, ACV, chili flakes and a lil balsamic and 5 ounces of steelhead trout baked with my basil pesto and a 1/4 of an ounce of crushed walnuts.

Other things consumed…

IMG_1367Cuz I gotta have my Questies! I forgot how much I love the Peanut Butter Supreme flavour so I reminded myself by having it in two different forms: Baked and raw. Absolutely delish either way! 😀

…Speaking of Questbars, who’s totally excited about their new flavour: White Chocolate Raspberry?!?! I have never even tasted white chocolate before and still I’m excited. Quest addict problems…

Last but certainly not least, after a full day (rest day at that) of working on my noms and those extra calories, I ended the day with my favourite lil pudding and…IMG_1414

…. a 1/4 of a Cookie Dough Questbar as I was a lil short on carbs and fats for the day. In the short time that I have been enjoying these bars, I have NEVER felt guilty for having one but last night I did. I was so mad because I know in my mind that it doesn’t matter when you eat your macros, its about your totals, so by having 5g (yes 5 GRAMS) of carbs before bed I will not blow up over night. Ha, try telling this to my obsessive mind…Anyways, did I enjoy that lil piece? Yes. Was it still hard regardless? YES and yes! I can’t say I will have these every night, because these are for when I fall short, but I need to stay in that mind frame that this is for fuel. The food I eat now will fuel me for tomorrow’s early morning workout and help me grow!

Any comments, tips, suggestions, words of encouragement or personal experience with this?

Are you excited for the next Questbar flavour? YES!

Favorite breakfast item you refuse to give up? Oatmeal for sure

Every tried those fluffy coconut pancakes? If you haven’t, you really should! They are bombskies

Hope you all have a wonderful hump day!


Your body can stand almost anything! It’s just your mind we have to convince.



4 thoughts on “This is my confession….WIAW

  1. Haha I totally do the same – saving up the best bits for an epic last bite! It is SO worth waiting for!! 😉

  2. I am so with you on a fear of gaining weight and losing my fit body. I know I am not eating enough. But, I have started to see a nutritionist and it has helped a bit. I was really slacking on healthy fats. Kudos to you for going for it girl! You inspire me!

    • Thank you! That means so much. It’s a tough road especially with having demons in my past. Fats were one thing I just didn’t realize I was lacking in a while ago, but now its carbs. Slowly but surely I will get those up, it’s just tougher on rest days (where I really saw how I feel short) because I’m just not as hungry. Although, even with the 100 more cals I added this week, I noticed my hunger more so perhaps my body was in holding mode lol.

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